Me and My Groupies

2006-12-13T12:30:00.000-05:00

Labor and Delivery

Induction day!! Currently at 7 cm and rocking the epidural.

2006-09-19T09:47:00.000-04:00

89 days to go!

As you can see from my ticker over on the sidebar I am 27 weeks!
I am going back in history today and remembering how much sooner than my due date I had Ben and Juli. I know these things take time and it's very important for the baby to be in the cooker as long as possible. Especially since the tiny lungs are the last thing to fully develop.
But I am soooo restless! I'm on edge with everyone and my poor DH just can't do anything right unless I tell him exactly what to do...and then he's wrong because I had to tell him!
I can't bend over anymore to fix my toes, so I just stare at the beautiful pedicure chipping away!
I have to force all the air from my body to lean forward and help my children put on their pants and shoes!
And I can't pick up the floor so easily unless I crawl on hands and knees; and ironically the whole "nesting" thing never went away and it always prevails, driving me to the floor!
Juli is so worried about all the change that she won't go to her pre-school without a serious panic attack - complete with the whole "no breathing" thing!
And Ben is so fed up with my anal desire for cleanliness that he doesn't play with his toys anymore cause he knows I'll be riding his messy boy butt to PICK UP when he's done!
And I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness as I auction off Ben's baby clothes to complete strangers on EBAY - sad that I only have one baby boy.
Yet oh so excited that I am having another princess to pamper!

2006-09-13T14:19:00.000-04:00

Kid's do the darndest things!

I was downloading pictures from my camera onto my computer last night. I clicked "begin download" before I realized the camera had 97 images on it. WTF? I know I didn't take that many pictures? Someone's been messing with my camera. Not unusual since both of kids are at an age where learning to use a camera is loads of fun. The first time Juli was allowed to experiment with freelance photography she took these:

And the lighting on this one is just brilliant!

So, I opened the folder containing 97 pictures and began deleting them. They were random...pictures of the television, of the couch, of my feet, daddy's hair, fingers in the shot and TONS of pictures of the floor (hmmm...I really should mop soon).

And then I find some very interesting body shots. Ben must have had the camera this time...I recognize this belly button! And these thighs and that skinny tushy!

AND OHHHHH MY! I recognize THAT too...LORD HAVE MERCY!!
I guess I should have saved it as a blackmail picture for when he's a teenager! But I deleted it as soon as I felt my eyeballs beginning to loose their sight!

2006-09-05T09:54:00.000-04:00

School for two!

I forgot until this morning that it is actually Tuesday and BOTH of my kids go to school until 1:00! I believe you would have enjoyed my rendition of the Hallelujah chorus!
So, we're almost to school and the kids are counting together (yes awwww....) and suddenly Juli screams "It's the cow's house!"
This statement that reeks of insanity didn't even phase Ben. "Where Juli?"
"Over dere!"
We all look...gas station, bank, hey, a Cingular store?
And a Barnhills restaurant! Complete with barn-red paint and chickens in the loft!
It's the cow's house!

And now some pictures of my child prodigy! She will be the first 2.5 year old to wow an aduience playing Twinkle Twinkle Litte Star with her piggy toes!

2006-08-29T16:47:00.000-04:00

A MOTHER'S PROPHECY!

So, I saw another mom from Ben's school at Tae Kwan Do class where Ben is a white belt. I told her the school has called every day Ben has missed. Weird? She thought so too. And then she told me that the class started the alphabet!
I do not kid you!
He missed learning the letter A!

(they caught him up to speed but that's not the point)

"It's like rain on your wedding day - A free ride but you've already paid - It's the good advice that you just didn't take! - And who would have thought?
IT FIGURES!"

2006-08-28T10:41:00.000-04:00

DOES YOUR SCHOOL CARE?

Ok - today is the 3d day of school Ben has missed due to this nasty cold we just can't shake! It's too much mucas for one nose to handle!
The first day he missed it was a surprise to me because the day before he was in great shape. It hit like a hurricane!
So, it didn't surprise me that his school called. Of course they would want or need to know if he had a sudden case of malaria - or even if he was just throwing up.
But they called the next day and then again this morning!
"Yes - he's still sick."
I promise we still want to come to school and you will get next month's check ASAP!
Maybe they just really like Ben? Or maybe it really matters when you miss 3 days of VPK - Pre-Kindergarten!
Like maybe now his alphabet will only consist of all the letters minus A-B and C!

2006-08-25T17:46:00.000-04:00

Unidentified Cravings and the Non-cake

I hate cravings. I get them once in while when I'm not pregnant but when I am it is out of control. I keep hearing that cravings are usually your body's way of telling you that something is missing in your diet. At first I craved Sushi on a daily basis! And I packed myself full of California rolls, Dragon rolls and veggie sushi. Then came the cravings for red meat and leafy greens, probably a signal that my iron intake was low. But recently my cravings have been for soda (which I don't buy so I can't have) and cookies! Now, I don't think there is any way to justify a craving for massive amounts of processed sugar!

Last night I was having the worst case of "I want something so bad and can't figure out what it is!" This unidentified craving was bothering me to the point of controlling my abilities to think and speak clearly!
It came to me as I mindlessly stared into the TV and it's mesmerizing flashing lights...I want cake...thick chocolate cake with the fudge icing that's hard to swallow and the little cocoa sprinkles that give it a bit of crunch!
I told my DH what I was craving simply because I was proud of myself for figuring it out. He jumped up willing and ready to run out at 10:00 at night and find my chocolate cake! I loved the thought but made him promise instead to bring cake home tomorrow.
He disappeared into the kitchen for what I thought was an after dinner snack and before long the smell of chocolate began to fill the house. What he brought me has now been dubbed the "non-cake" and it hit the spot like no cake ever could!
He melted chocolate chips and butter together and mixed in some pecans, coconut, graham cracker crumbs and milk. It was like melted fudge...heaven on a spoon!

And I slept like a baby for the first time in 24 weeks!

2006-08-20T12:09:00.000-04:00

It's a very sad day...

My little vampire has had her first bite of flesh.
My flesh...my tender pregnant tummy flesh!
And very much like a vampire, it was bite of rage!
For as much as a super fun mommy as I know I am, I would not let her have a ring pop for breakfast! So tragic...I mean the end of the world! She let me know it! And I am pretty sure her backside got the point I made too!

2006-08-07T10:16:00.000-04:00

WHAT WE THINK OF MONDAYS!

-note to troll...and you thought our tooty booties were bad!-

So before you freak out and leave me a nasty comment about what kind of mother I am for teaching my little girl such an ugly gesture, let me reassure you that we just happened to catch her in an "I'm so shy" moment. The finger came up, we snapped the shot and the hand went down! We spent the next five minutes laughing at the millions of ways we can use this picture while Juli stared at us like we were nuts!
Today I am using our candid shot to express my deepest and truest feelings about Mondays.
Tomorrow I may use it to show how I really feel about the 21st week of my pregnancy, and the day after that I will use it to show my disgust of laundry!
See how versatile! Now don't you wish you had a picture like mine?!

2006-08-04T10:29:00.000-04:00

NOTE TO SELF:
Next time you loose your shopping basket with your purse in it, try to remember the last aisle you were just browsing on before having a complete panic attack and recruiting 6 Wal-Mart employees to rush around the store looking for a thief!
Also try not to CRY next time! Freaking pregnancy!

2006-08-02T11:43:00.000-04:00

School time blues
I am reminded this morning of how often kids catch colds when they go to ANY public place on a regular basis.
The first three days of school are this week and I have a cold already. I have been sick quite a few times since getting pregnant. I guess because of immune system issues - but the point is, when the kids DO start bringing home the germs it looks like I will be the first one to get them! Grrrreat!
On a brighter note - Juli LOVES school. And she is obsessed with the tiny little potty and the tiny little sink! If every parent had a bathroom like that, kids would be potty trained before they even turned 2 years old!

2006-08-01T16:00:00.000-04:00

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!

Just can't express how excited I am about that. I love my kids and I have really good kids - but they have been bored out of their mind this summer! No matter how hard I have tried to schedule something fun to do at least three times a week, it's not the same as constant and independent interaction with others kids and people who are NOT your immediate family.

The best things about this summer?
Juli is potty trained! And ready for school.
Ben learned how to swim! Though he will most likely forget by the time next summer rolls around!
And, of course, though I hate actually being pregnant, I am so excited about having another baby!
My own...not like the one who is mine three times a week and spends at least 50% of that time her crying and bitching. (Actually that's what she's doing right know and has been doing for the past 15 minutes cause she doesn't want to take her nap).

And just to start the school year out right I have a cold - thanks to DH and way too much...(clearing throat)...kissing this weekend! :)

2006-07-28T10:28:00.000-04:00

My hubby and I are celebrating our 6th anniversary this weekend. I was thinking last night that out of the 6, I have been pregnant for 3 of them! Got to do something about that after this baby comes!
Anyway, I won't be back to post anything till Monday, so I leave you with this picture that had mom and dad rolling in laughter! It's a camera phone/in the semi-dark snapshot, so it's not so great. But that's Ben rear and Juli is in between his legs...both of them totally zonked!
I call them the ultimate snugglers! Talk about brotherly love!
Hope Ben doesn't let one RIIIIIPPPP!

2006-07-26T08:22:00.000-04:00

And just a piece of my day...
The husband (yes impersonal and harsh...you'll see why) came home for lunch and when he was done left the salt shaker on the table. My kids love to lick salt...little ponies! But I always oversee it...except this time Juli oversaw it. When she came to me crying she had fists full of salt and her tongue was shriveled like a slug!
We washed up and brushed teeth and got some water.
Thought she was fine but 5 minutes later she bursts into the bathroom as I am on the toilet (where else would I be at 18 weeks pregnant?) and excitedly begins to tell me something when she hurled all the salt and breakfast (cereal and watermelon! Didn't you want to know?) onto the pile of laundry awaiting the wash. YUM! What a way to start the day...and he could have just PUT THE SALT AWAY!

2006-07-25T09:27:00.000-04:00

Want a cardio workout without moving?

And I'm not talking about thaaaaat...dirty, naughty!
Phone Booth was on tv last night. It was pretty freaky. My heart was pounding at such a fast pace I almost wondered if it was unhealthy!
The review I have linked is pretty right on. They could have done so much more with the whole point of the movie, redemption, but just as it is, the ending is what REALLY gets you!
So, if you think you can handle it, check it out and if you get bored (I didn't though) wait for the end! It does have a lot of language, but since it was on tv they blurped out every bad word! While I usually don't mind this, some of them were really there for a reason!
Also you might want to turn off your phone while your watching. Once the movie was over I lay down in bed and began to fall asleep. In my doze I heard the phone ring and jumped out of my skin! It really was an approaching train! Yes, exactly...the only way a train can sound like a phone is if you've been mentally psyched!

Anyway, I got my cardio for yesterday...while bumming on the couch!

2006-07-24T09:19:00.000-04:00

20 weeks to go...and counting! (almost as exciting as the shuttle)

My skin is dry and cracking, my belly is itching and my double D's are already bigger! I am 19 weeks pregnant at this moment and the most exciting thing that has happened thus far is the day I came oh so close to buying a fetal heart monitor so DH and the kids could listen to baby.
I should be having a sonogram right now and waiting for my glucose and blood test results to come back and tell me I am low on iron (like I usually am). But instead I sit and wait...wait on the state of Florida to tell me if I qualify for financial help with this baby.
Because of trouble early on and blood testing I have already done our bills at this moment exceed $1300 - and that's just in the first trimester because I haven't seen a doctor in two months! Not so good, I know, but what else to do?
I always have little ways of staying excited and pepped for another child. Usually it's through listening to the heartbeat at least once a month, finding out the sex of the baby, beginning my collection of baby clothes and even starting to decide what needs to go on my registry.
As it is, I am staying excited through nest keeping (ohhh fuuun) and buying things for my other children, like books about being a big sister and magazines that have pictures of baby inside the womb.
Ahhhh...my patience level is burning out! I WANT A SONOGRAM NOW!

2006-07-21T11:07:00.000-04:00

IN - LAWS

You never get the jokes about in-laws until you have some. In my case it's no joke...it's very serious, with many mind blowing, underlying issues and character traights that don't just blow over in...well...in a year.

DH's brother and SIL are coming into town this weekend with their two kids. The cousins are around the same ages as my kids and it has been thought from the beginning that they might like eachother and thus make a family get-together more enjoyable for everyone.
It was a nice thought and I think part of me still hangs on to it becasue of the closeness I had and still have with my cousins and my Aunt and Uncle. BUT in reality, if let myself admit it, the boys are too different to even play together and thus in consequence the girls haven't had much of a chance.
Anyway, my family is invited to the In-Laws house to visit with DH brother and kids this weekend. I got an e-mail...we are ALL invited. Hmmmm...I seem to remember that tragedy struck hard last time we all got together. And I haven't seen or spoken with the In-Laws in a year an a half! Yes, it was that bad and certainly justified...but way too dramatic for me to even try to explain. Those of you who know can only begin to understand. I can just say that NO ONE on this planet ought to EVER over-ride my authority over my kids in front of me again! Unless for good reason of course (though I really can't thihnk of one). And oddly enough I have never had a problem with anyone in any of my distant or close family the way I did with DH's parents. And so I stay away. Actually it is the smart choice given the situation. Not that I haven't forgiven them...I actually feel sorry for them that they have made things this way. But some attitudes are intolerable and if I can't change them then I stay away.
Any problems with your in-laws? Or even you parents? How did you handle them? Am I the only one who never speaks with their children's grandma and grandpa anymore?

2006-07-19T10:55:00.000-04:00

As I lay in bed (yes- being lazy and pregnant- my privilege as a stay at home mom) yesterday morning and listened as space shuttle Discovery landed, I realized that I didn't post anything about our 4th of July.

July 4th 2006 - forget fireworks and grilling out. It was blazing hot and fireworks still scare Juli. So we piled in the car to see the launch of Discovery. It was our second trip out to Titusville since the first scheduled launch was canceled. The kids got Burger King and I had my Subway and we scoured the river across from the launch pad in search of the best spot to see from. We ended up directly in front of the entire NASA island sitting on a dock with our feet dangling down over the river. A picture perfect spot! We arrived about 15 minutes before the shuttle was set to go off and in about 5 of those minutes the kids were bored out of their minds! We continued to explain why we were waiting and how worth it the launch would be. Yeah right...at what age do kids actually start believing their parents about anything? Finally someone in the throng of people behind us started a countdown. Ben is a number expert and counted along with us.
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Nothing...ok maybe we were a little off.
Then a pile of smoke. Both children were riveted!
And fire and lift off!
The launch is always so quick and you wish you could replay it. But as we stood on the dock in silence with our necks craned back watching the shuttle begin to disappear into the clouds, the roar of the explosion began to reverberate across the water! It had taken a good 40 seconds for the sound to travel to our ears and when it did it rattle us to our very bones. The baby inside me jumped and the two in my arms opened their mouths in disbelief! The ground shook and Ben said "My heart is pounding!"
Worth it? I'd say so!
For the next ten days we watched videos from space and listened as the astronauts spoke with men/women still here on earth! They explained technical procedures, and showed us some space walk moves and even had to know the soccer scores on the day of the playoffs!
We thought of heading back to see the shuttle when it landed and opted to watch the TV instead. But mom didn't get up in time. When the sonic boom hit our house I smiled.
Welcome home Discovery...we were with you the whole time...our hearts pounding!

2006-07-12T12:17:00.000-04:00

The Nerve of Some People!

It was pitch black but I could still see the smoke coming out of my ears.

DH and I love to talk before we fall asleep. Everything is quiet and dark and still, our insatiable hunger for one another has been satisfied for the moment and so we lay in the dark and talk. Sounds like every woman's dream man right? I thought so too...at least for the first 20 minutes of the conversation.

I was complaining (again) of my childhood. I think pregnancies tend to do that; make you dig up the past in order to better the future. I was saying how my parents never had me engaged in anything. I never played sports or took gymnastics or dance. I never learned music or how to play an instrument. I didn't get to build homes for the homeless or go on mission trips. For a very short period of my life I took horseback riding lessons (my passion) and then horse camp and I was in heaven. But there was no follow through. I was told lessons and riding were too expensive. After that the only time I got to ride was when it was my birthday.
My mother offered to be a softball mom and I turned it down. I throw like a girl! She also attempted to get me into flower pressing and stamping. After a first class I remember expressing to her the fact that being in there with a bunch of old ladies wasn't really enjoyable for me.

But because I was the quiet child, the one who could play alone and teach herself from the textbooks provided (homeschooling at it's best) I think it was very easy to overlook me. And I was not the child who would ever ask for anything...except if I was allowed to have a piece of gum after lunch, or if I could call one of my 3 friends to see if they could play.

By the time I was ready to branch out on my own I had no self confidence. I had nothing to have any pride about. I had not accomplished anything. I had no aspirations or even a glimpse of how the real world works. I had a passion, a few, but they lay dormant because no one had ever taken the time to encourage them.

My freshman year in college was also my senior year of high school, called duel enrollment. My teacher for my freshman Comp. noticed one of my gifts, my passions, and that is writing. Now, writing comp papers isn't really the passion I mean when I say I love to write. And yet still, wrapped within the layers of the introductions, body paragraphs and conclusions, my gift shown through. My teacher invited me to attend his gifted, AP (whatever it's called) English class. I remember the excitement I felt. I was good enough - and I hadn't even graduated highschool yet! I accepted his offer immediately, my heart and mind racing at the thought of this new challenge. And then I was told that duel enrolled students were not welcome to attend those "higher education" classes.

As I look back now I realize I could have good at so many things if I had had the chance. If someone was to ask me to sum up my childhood in one word I think "boring" would be appropriate. I don't think I ever felt like a child, no cares, no worries, just doing what I loved to do! And doing it well...making my parents proud!

I want that for my kids! I know it costs money - and I'm willing to make what it takes. I think it is very important for kids to be engaged and I think it is not valued enough in today's society. Those hoodlums in my old neighborhood who spent their afternoons scrawling up the local park and drinking boos and smoking pot might actually make something of themselves if they felt like they could be a part of something bigger than life!

I have no idea if I'm making any sense but it feels good to write it.

So, after this wonderful conversation with my hubby, in which we were in full agreement and getting excited about he futures of our children, he snuggles in next to me. He began to share how exciting his new job is getting. He has connected with a group of wine and gourmet food importers and is helping them build their empire. They recently began importing coffee as well. Evidently (he was telling me) selling coffee takes a lot of knowledge from how it's grown to how is packaged. Ok, guess I can understand that. So, (he continues) they will probably need to take a class on this stuff to better learn how to sell the coffee. Ok, that sounds good too. Then he says, "So, they are thinking of sending me to the classes for a couple of weeks...in Spain!"

Am I supposed to be excited about this?

2006-07-11T10:23:00.000-04:00

Spilled Beans!
(typing that actually made my stomach growl- lol)

The cat's out of the bag! Fidget has a huge secret and today is the day she shared with all!
There is a Chinese proverb that speaks of friends at heart being forever strung together with a red string - you think we have that or is this just a coincidence - being pregnant together for the THIRD time?!
Maybe we take the same vitamins?
Or we're just too sexy for our own good!
In any case keep Fidget in your prayers sending lots of positive chi her way!

2006-07-05T09:42:00.000-04:00

Getting excited about baby frog

My tummy has begun to pooch and the kids are noticing. Yesterday I began to tell Juli very simply that the baby would be a boy or a girl. But either way she would be a big sister. She really loved that idea! I told her if it was a girl they could play dress-up and Juli could teach her ballet. And if it was a boy they could play dinosaurs. The latter image brought a curl to her baby lip!
So as she was falling asleep last night and very quietly mulling this baby frog over in her mind, I heard her say quietly "When baby comes out, I be a big sister and I teach her ballet!"
My heart melted! Despite all my financial, emotional and psychological fears about having a third child, I find myself relaxing into it and getting excited! Who wouldn't want another Ben or Juli?!

2006-07-03T21:48:00.000-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA

We've got our sparklers, our steaks, our wine (just a taste for me) and our family - what more could we ask for?
But this Fourth of July a friend of mine sent out a very simple and to the point e-mail reminding people that our freedom is a very precious gift that has come at a very high price, and continues to cost us every day.
So, in honor and remembrance, lift your glass with me (whatever might be in it, cause all I have these days is water) -

TO OUR MEN IN IRAQ WHO CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR ALL AMERICANS
TO OUR SOLDIERS SPREAD ALL OVER THE GLOBE READY TO DEFEND OUR FREEDOM
TO OUR PRESIDENT (God be with him)
TO OUR GOVERNORS and CONGRESSMEN
TO OUR ASTRONAUTS - modern day Magellans
TO OUR TEACHERS AND PASTORS
TO OUR DEDICATED HUSBANDS and FATHERS who are superheroes in their own class
TO OUR DEDICATED MOTHERS who are changing the world one child at a time (ideally for the better)And TO OUR CHILDREN - may they rise up to be the generation that makes a difference in the world!
And last but certainly not least:
L'CHAIM! L'CHAIM
TO LIFE! TO LIFE!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY 2006

2006-06-28T10:38:00.000-04:00

Party Girl?

Juli and I drove Ben to Vacation Bible School for the third morning this week. It is loud enough in the car with the three of them (my two and the one I watch) so I usually do not put the radio on.
But after we left Ben the girls needed a morning pick-me-up song. The radio was on 105.1 the MIX station - some really slow kill-me-now song.
Juli said "don't like dat song mom!" And when I wasn't fast enough to change it she shouted "DON"T WANT DAT SONG!"
Next was 106.7 the hottest new hits station.
This time all she said was "NO!"
I flipped to 105.9 the rock station - it was a morning talk show.
A unanimous "No!"
Popped over to 88.3 the Christian station.
Again "Nooooo...!"
Our last stop was 95.3 - your station for Hip-hop and R&B - party music - booty shakin and baby arms flailing Juli yells "Yea...I want dis!"
Is my need for pick-me-up and get-me-going music rubbing off on my daughter?
Why yes...yes it is! And what a memory it makes to shake it across the floor with a vacuum while my little girl dances right along side me!
(Just gotta watch out for the songs with explicit language...a few days ago in the car with mommy and auntie, Juli mimicked a few choice words. Not the really bad ones, but hearing "stupid" and "crap" come out of your two year old's mouth makes you freeze in your tracks! We replaced those few words with "super" and "duper!" Which came out "tuper tuper" and had us all in a fit of giggles)!

2006-06-21T12:16:00.000-04:00

AND ONE LAST FART FOR GOOD MEASURE!

Thank you all for your support as I rage against the troll...who, if you hadn't noticed, came back for more and will no doubt be here again!
I wish you all your very own troll if for no other reason than to have a little excitement of your own!
And just for good measure I would like to share one more hilarious video!

2006-06-15T14:26:00.000-04:00

HNT~ Houston, We Have A Problem

Why I love My Troll, a lesson in humanity

To catch all of my visitors up to speed, I have acquired a troll, no really, little ole me! I'm quite flattered; you know you are someone in the blog world when people start flinging poo your way. Oh but wait, this troll would probably fling lysol or gas-x my way. I live by a writers creed, write what you know. With 2 small children and a husband one thing I know VERY well is farts... and poop... and boogers.. and well you get the idea. In my quest to uphold truth the Fart Police have come a knockin. You can check out their snarkiness in my comments for this post HERE or HERE.
In honor of my troll I have taken a cue from Osbasso and Fidget and created a movie discussing the reality of the situation. For your own safety I recommend abstaining from food and or drink while viewing this film. Additionally some colorful language and bodily functions are utilized, please read silently so as not to warp young minds.

Without further adieu Me and My Groupies Theater proudly presents Fart Police

2006-06-14T12:38:00.000-04:00

CAUTION! more bodily function stories CAUTION!

If you are one of those squeamish types or even just the type to be disgusted by burping, flatulence and the drippy, yellow noses, then please skip down to my kitty cat post for a cutesy laugh!
If, however, you are a nurse or a mother or a realist, than read on!

I was putting my little Juli to bed a few nights ago. I always lay down with her to tell a story and sing a song. So I snuggled under the covers and cradled her in the crook of my arm. She seemed like she had nestled in, so within the protective wall of sheets, I let one rip!
Now come on...everyone farts! If we didn't there would be infinite more cases of HIC - Hominal Internal Combustion.
And every pregnant woman, no matter how plushly attired and well groomed, farts when she thinks no one can hear. At least I didn't toot until any aroma would be trapped beneath the sheets.
My plan had one tiny flaw...Juli wasn't comfortable. She readjusted herself and the covers with her.
About 6 years ago when I began sharing my bed with a man, I figured out that being oblivious to the smell of your own flatulence was not just a theory. In fact it is now proven by married women across the globe!
Needless to say, I was not tainted by any smell my toot must have produced. But little Juli, being the naive little angel that she is, spoke up:
"I tmell someting!"
I giggled "Does it smell yucky?"
"Yea! Tmells like poops!"
Now I am really laughing! And wafting the covers in an attempt to breathe fresh air!
"Mommy has a tooty booty!" We say that one thanks to Fidget!
Juli very seriously said "Tomorrow (which means yesterday) I had a tooty booty!"
Through my laughter I apologized, "Yeah - I'm sorry Juli - Mommy won't tooty anymore!" A moment of silence as she considered this promise.
Then she said, with a tinge of resentment
"It's not funny!"

My husband was putting my son to bed the next night and encountered the same dilemma: Let it out or internally combust. I doubt he thought about it for more than a millisecond, being the champion cheese cutter that he is (aren't they all?). Except his tooty booty was very audible (nothing of aroma was mentioned).
Ben said "What was that sound?"
DH played dumb, "What sound?"
"It went thhhhhhlllllpppp" proceeding to make a raspberry sound with his tongue.
Laughing, the hubster anonymously replied, "It was a toot!"
Again, a moment of silence. "Was it mine or yours?"

2006-06-13T13:03:00.000-04:00

HURRICANE SEASON IS HERE!
This is my backyard! And Alberto is NOT even a hurricane! We've been fairly warned!

2006-06-13T09:55:00.000-04:00

HOW TO BATHE CATS?

Yes, I'm with you. Cats shouldn't have to have baths or have to need baths. Alas mine fits both criteria. Ragdolls are supposed to not shed so much, but I have found that if I don't brush her every day then what I get is balls of cat hair blowing around the corners of my home. Even the dog can't compete.
So, how do you bathe a cat? I never suspected I would have to, so I never bothered to learn. Although I do seem to remember something like this:

The 12 Step Cat Washing Program
1: First, thoroughly clean the toilet, remove the topmost lid covering the tank of water, and turn off the cold-water hose to the toilet.
2: Next, warm up 4 gallons of water to bath temperature. Flush, and add half the water to the tank.
3: Then, raise both lids, add the rest of the water directly to the toilet bowl, and add an ample amount of shampoo to the water.
4: Find a ball of string and entice the cat into the bathroom.
5: Close the bathroom door, and continue petting the cat.
6: In one swift move, pick up the cat, and drop the cat into the toilet bowl, closing both lids.
7: Jump on top of the toilet lid to prevent the cat from escaping.
8: CAUTION: Avoid placing any of your body parts near the edge of the toilet to avoid flailing claws reaching between the toilet and lid.
9: The cat will self-agitate and generate ample sudsing action. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this.)
10: Flush the toilet twice for a quick rinse or 4 times for an effective power rinse cycle, depending on the cat's fur cleaning needs.
11: Clear a path of open doors from the toilet to outside, and then jump off of the lid. CAUTION: Jump away from the bathroom door.
12: The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet to the outside. Air dry time: about 20 minutes.

This really sounds like the most efficient and pain free method of cat bathing, because the only piece of advice I have gotten so far about washing kitties is
"Be sure to wear rubber gloves so you don't have the entire first layer of arm flesh slowly ripped off!"

2006-06-12T10:10:00.000-04:00

The stuff fairytales are made of!

(Long winded but oh so good)
When I was pregnant with my son 5 years ago, I blew up like a balloon. No matter how much water I drank, my body retained fluid like there was about to be a worldwide drought! My feet no longer fit into my tennis shoes, my face looked like a chipmunks and my hands were also tortured by swelling. I had to put my wedding rings away. It was a sad day. I waited months after I had Ben to try them on again. They still did not fit. I assumed I was permanently bigger and had them resized. They fit until I got pregnant again so I put them away and wore a different ring. Not a wedding ring but it was something to put on that finger. We came to call it my "fat ring."
After Juli I began to loose immense amounts of weight. And the rings were too big! But I was not about to resize them. I wore them a lot, but I also took them off a lot; some days they were so loose if I shook my hand they would come flying off. So in the shower and at bed time and during laundry and housework I would take them off; remembering always to wear them when I would leave. On day I misplaced them. Not a big shocker since they came off and on all day long. The were gone for months and I began to wonder if I would ever see them again. I couldn't believe that I had been so careless with them, so chose instead to believe that I had put them somewhere safe and forgot where. Turns out I was right! I found them months later down in the zipper pocket of an old diaper bag! I put them on right away and swore to be more careful. I guess I should have just shelled out the money to have them sized, because within a year they were gone again. This time I didn't worry much. They would turn up. I had proven myself responsible with them before, putting them safely in that old zipper pocket. After about 3 months when they didn't turn up on their own, I began searching. And searching...and searching. Nothing. At 4 months I began to worry and at 6 months I began to cry. About that same time a close friend of mine also lost her rings. She called and we fretted together. It helped me not feel so terrible, knowing that I wasn't the only horrible wife on the planet. Except as soon as her husband found out a week after her bands turned up missing, her took her straight to the jeweler and proceeded to replace them. Back to being alone and sad! We had no money to replace mines. And even if we had, I could not have gotten anything nearly as unique and special as my original set. Not only was the engagement a "one of a kind" but I designed the wedding band to go with it!
I tried to keep my hopes up thinking that the rings were sure to show up when we moved. But nothing...my SIL came to the rescue.
On New Years Eve (after asking my DH) my SIL "proposed" with a beautiful vintage wedding ring! At least to wear till we could replace my other ones, or buy it off her. But if I bought it off her I would still have to get a wedding band if I wanted a set. Her ring fit perfectly and looked totally BLING! But I was still sad over mine...they were irreplaceable and even engraved to match my husband's.
Before were sell our old house my husband is fixing it up. Painting and flooring and yard work was what I expected. But with the help of our friends he is replacing EVERYTHING with the promise that it will make us significantly more money when we sell. So the bathroom sink was ripped out! Along with the tub and the toilet and the cabinets and the stove!
In the bathroom some pipes had to be replaced. When they were pulled what should come tumbling out but my wedding band! John was shocked! And excited! But where was the engagement band? No doubt they had gone down together, but it wasn't there. There was one more pipe in the wall. It didn't need to be replaced but how could he NOT check. He ripped it out. Grit and grime and lots of nasty hair ball...AND ONE BEAUTIFUL ENGAGEMENT RING! He brought them home to me all black and caked with slime. They are not missing any diamonds and in need of nothing more than a good cleaning and polishing. To me they have NEVER looked more beautiful!
And they fit...for now anyway!

2006-06-10T17:06:00.000-04:00

WHERE'S YOUR BABY?

Seaworld is our favorite weekend family place to go. We have passes so we go a lot. But summer is the worst! It really wasn't that hot today, but cram 3000 sweaty bodies together in a stadium to catch a splash from Shamu, and the temperature reaches a degree that makes you want to keel over! We go anyway. When the kids scream with excitement even though it's their 30th time there, you just can't say no!
So, we headed out this morning for some steamy fun! In the car the kids are restless. Juli says "I wanna dwive!" And she's very serious. Then she says "I don't wan a deatbelt! I wanna a duce and bobby!" Mommy grits her teeth. "We'll be there soon honey!" It's quiet for a minute. Then out of blue Ben says "I got a baby in me too mom!" I turn around. He's slumped low in his seat with his little belly so swollen with air he looked as though he was gonna burst. I cracked up! "Oh my! You do! Is it a girl or a boy?"
"We don't know yet."

2006-06-09T14:20:00.000-04:00

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

This spring we planted a garden. Twice a year our church plows under the community garden area and splits it up into rows for anyone who wishes to garden. We've done so before but this time it was with the intent of sharing the joy of growing with our 2 year old and 4 year old; Good ages to be transfixed by seeds and blossoms and fruit!
But we only had half of our veggies even grow to maturity. Our carrots never even showed their fuzzy heads and our squash never got bigger than a...well something too small to think of.
We have snow peas but didn't stake them so they don't produce too many (that is really ok - we had just enough to enjoy). And we have tomatoes..lots and lots of tomatoes! We have been enjoying them very much. Just enough of them are ripe at the same time to get to eat them without watching them go bad. And the kids actually tried the tomatoes since they participated with us in planting them. But how many kids really like tomatoes anyway. I was proud of them for trying.
Three nights ago at 9:36pm the phone rang. It startled me. No one but family calls that late at night (hey, my kids are in bed by 8 so 9:30 is late for me).
I raced to the phone. Someone from our church?

"Hello?"
"Yes hi Robyn - I just wanted to know if you guys were planning on picking the tomatoes from your garden any time soon?"
"uhhh..."
"Well it's just that so many of them are ready - in fact I picked a few to take with me cause they were so ready. I hope you don't mind."
"No, we really have plenty tomatoes to go around. I guess will be out there tomorrow to pick some since they are ready. Thanks for letting me know."

Ok - weird right? Someone is keeping an eye on our garden for us? That's not too surprising since it is a community garden. But did they have to call at 9:30 to tell me about my tomatoes? I figured there must be a bushel of them ready to eat. So, dutifully I went the next evening to pick at our crop. This is what I found:

I don't know about you but I like my tomatoes orange or just turning red before I pick them so that they ripen nicely and taste the best. Needless to say I was frustrated. I picked 4 nearly orange fruits to show my husband how "ready" they were and to laugh about it together. They ripened nicely and await my next turkey sandwich.
After my breakfast this morning I began my laundry chore. My SIL informed me "There's someone at the door." Oh brother. Last night someone stopped by to sell me a "free" carwash. And the Bible thumpers (their intentions are good) are regulars in this neighborhood.
But no! It was a visitor from my church.
"Good morning!" I attempted my friendliest as I noticed she was bringing me sunflowers and three grocery bags full of...something.
"I brought you your tomatoes!"
WTF?!
"Oh..."
"We picked them all for you this morning."
I peer into the bags.

No surprise. They are all green and yellow. My insides seething I also began to realize that the beautiful sunflowers she had for me were in fact FROM MY GARDEN as well!
"Thank you" I said. "I was going to pick them on Sunday to give them more time to ripen up."
"Well, when they turn red the bugs get them."
"ok, I guess I can set them out on my porch. Thank you."
I think I growled as I shut the door of my house. And then the movie Fried Green Tomatoes popped into my mind. "Maybe that's what we'll have for dinner," I sarcastically thought to myself. "And I can serve GROUND HUMAN STEAK to go with them!"
(for those of you who haven't seen the movie - there is a little resteraunt famous for their fried green tomatoes - a murder is committed and the body is ground up into steaks and served to the murder investigators who have come to town looking for the killer)

2006-06-08T11:25:00.000-04:00

VOTE FOR FIDGET THIS HNT!

2006-06-06T15:59:00.000-04:00

Writers block means break out the camera! My Juli has become quite the dancer and though she is so much crazier if she doesn't know the camera is on her, I can't seem to catch her impromptu!
Can anyone tell me why the sound won't come through?

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

2006-06-06T10:53:00.000-04:00

DANCE EVOLUTION!
I have creative writers block this morning. I think I watched too many Google Videos last night! And no drinks to lighten the load...sad. But I did find this
I know it's long, but you will laugh all the way through. This guy is awesome! I'd like to join him on stage (but that too would take a few drinks). And he dances to every great song you can think of from Elvis to Eminem and everything in between!

2006-06-01T20:28:00.000-04:00

Where toots come from
I really wish I had the artistic ability to draw a graph for you to go along with this story. But as it is you will have to imagine my hand motions and my stifled giggles!
It started when Ben came crashing into me as I was resting on the couch. The pink pill is a life saver but it's messing with my insides so bad! It is a 3 dose antibiotic which means there is so much antibiotic crammed into three little pills it just keeps going and going for 7 days! Thus reeking havoc on my intestines.
Anyhoo...Ben comes crashing into me showing off his newest Sporticus trick. After a pause and the sought for "super cool dude" Ben sat next to the window with his thinking face on.

"Mom, how come Sporticus doesn't ever toot?"
I wasn't sure I had heard him right. "Toot? Like tooty booty?"
"yeah"
"Well...I suppose he does - they just don't want to show it on tv."
"How come?"
"Cause farting is not socially acceptable. Meaning people don't want to hear or smell toots cause it's not good manners."

Pause - another thoughtful look but this time with a hint of a smile.
"How do we toot?"
"We toot when air comes out of our butts."
"But why does it make a sound?"
"It doesn't always, if it's just a little air it doesn't make a sound."
"But if it's A LOT it's loud!"
"Right."
"But why?"
Ok-I tried my best to gracefully explain the toot. And it didn't satisfy. So out came the hand gestures. This is where it gets good...hopefully you have stuck with me for this moment! It really highlighted my day.
"Ok Ben look," holding up my hand, fingers in a small circle. "This is how big the hole in your bottom is right?"
Head nod - alright he's with me.
"Well sometimes the air that's trapped is THIS big," holding up my hand in a giant circle.
Eyes wide - guess he's still with me!
"And when the air comes out it all comes out at once really fast." Now I am forcing the giant circle through the smaller circle. "and then you go BAAARRRROOOOMMMMMFFFFFFFF!"
As if the whole thing had been a big set up, Ben began laughing so hard the tears came! And we lost half of his body off the side of couch!
"Do that again mom! Show me again!"
And that is how I explained this most smelly bodily function to my son. Thank God he hasn't asked how his baby brother or sister is going to come out!
And if you enjoyed the "no farting" sign hop over to where I got it!

2006-05-31T16:17:00.000-04:00

And it's official!
I have bronchitis! I didn't really need anyone to tell me that, but at least I can officially tell my DH (and the kids)I haven't been slacking or faking.
What wonderful joy a little pink pill can bring! The antibiotic! And the Musinex can rid my system of the yellow and bloody goo! But nothing can help the cough. "The cough is a good thing though you know?" doc says.
Really? Try telling that first to my aching chest and my hoarse throat. The tender blood vessels above my eyes have burst from the pressure. The only time that has EVER happen to me before was when I was pushing a child from my burning loins!
And second try telling my Hubby and my kids that the coughing is a good thing. They were the ones who were woken up countless times a night as I jumped out of bed to spit out what just came up! DH would say "Oh geez honey...can I do anything for you? Can I get anything for you?"
ANYTHING to make you stop!
Well, the cough may be around for a while. But the infection has already packed up and awaits the tissue train to another victim!
May it not be you!

2006-05-28T13:32:00.000-04:00

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Enough of the cough!
Enough of the pounding ears!
Enough of the hoarse throat!
Enough of the MUUUUCUSSSS!
I am spewing and horking all day and all night. Forget sleeping and eating! I'm 10 weeks pregnant and dropped five pounds! The house has gone to HELL! And the children are on the same path! All I wanted was to be better be Fidget's big (and yummy) luau! So I begged the hubby home from work with a sad, sad (and very true) tale of woe. "I didn't sleep last night, the kids are friggen crazzzy, and I can't handle this crud anymore. I am stuck in a cycle of green and yellow mucus and I can't get out!"
To the doctor I went. In full confidence I headed to my regular walk-in clinic where they always take such good care of me. This place, this hallowed ground is the beginning to the end of EVERY ailment! I have spent 2 and a half hours there before in the room of sickness, willing to put up with the ridiculous wait just to see that beloved man in the white coat holding a pen and prescription pad! I enter the door hesitantly...and let out a sigh of relief. Only 3 people ahead of me! I sign in and put a check in the little box that lets them know I'm pregnant. And I wait. Didn't know three people could take so long. But it's ok. The man in the coat is behind those doors if I only have patience! "Robyn" Yes! That's me! Whoops...a little too enthusiastic for the giant, black, male nurse at the door. Oh, he's an intern. I won't be seeing the doctor. Oh well, as long as he consults the doc on what to give me. I explain my ailments being sure to relate to him the color of the snot I've been coughing up! Ok...now he wants to know when my last period was. Ummmm...February I guess. He looks at me funny. "Well I'm pregnant...so..." His eyebrows shoot up to his curly hairline! "I wrote that on the sign in paper," I whimper. "Well, that changes everything..." He stands. "I'll be right back."
Five more minutes. Good he's consulting the doctor just like I wanted. In 24 hours I'll be as good as new! LUAU HERE I COME!
The intern comes back. Without a tad of sympathy he states, "We can't help you if your pregnant!"
"You mean there's nothing I can take being so early in my pregnancy?"
"No, we can't prescribe you anything. We can't treat pregnant women. Our insurance doesn't cover pregnant women."
I frown feeling like I am diseased from the way he used the word "pregnant"
This office sees kids and adults...just not little kids inside adults!
It would have been nice of them to tell me from the time I signed in and checked the little "pregnant" box, that they couldn't treat me at that office!
In my best Napoleon Dynamite voice "Goooshhhhh! Idiots!"

2006-05-27T09:23:00.000-04:00

One of those things you swore you'd never say to your kid!
Yesterday morning I felt worse than the day before. I was very tempted to call in some backup, but whoever I would call would have to NOT care about getting sick! And on Memorial Day Weekend! Needless to say I was on my own.
Breakfast is not usually anything too big in this house unless DH is home to make it! My kids are not big breakfast eaters although (before you leave comments about how important the first meal of the day is) I always make them have something. So yesterday it was oatmeal with little dinosaurs candy eggs in it that hatch when you poor the hot water over them. The kids love it and I love it cause it usually means they will clean the bowl. But I only had one package left. Hmmm...I would have to divide it and poor in half of another bag of plain oatmeal to make up the difference. So that's just what I did. They both got candy eggs and they both got the same amount as usual. OR SO I THOUGHT!
As soon as Ben took a look in his bowl he wailed, "I didn't want that much!" Which means the opposite of what it would normally mean...in other words I gave him too little. He wanted more.
"That's as much as you always get buddy!" Ok, maybe a baby lie. I might have been off by a teaspoon or two.
"But I always eat all my oatmeal!" He cried. Yes cried. Now there were tears about the oatmeal. Deal making time.
"If you eat all of that I promise I will make more!" Another baby lie...what would I make more with except the plain oatmeal. Preposterous!
"But I want more now! I always eat all my oatmeal!" Forget deal making!
"Son, if you don't cut that attitude you can take it in your room! You do not have to eat the oatmeal, but if you decide not too there won't be anything else for breakfast! And when you find yourself hungry in an hour? There will be cold oatmeal still waiting for you! I am tired of all this pickiness about food! YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME KIDS IN THIS WORLD WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN GOTTEN TO TRY DINOSAUR EGG OATMEAL! SO CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY AND BE THANKFUL!"
As soon as the words came out of my mouth I looked around the room for my mother! I know I heard her! Darn! It was me! Oh well...you know the weird part. It worked. Ben shut his mouth, sat down and scraped the bowl clean. And didn't need anymore!

2006-05-25T12:15:00.000-04:00

Too much half-nekkidness for me!
Sorry HNT bloggers. I have nothing to share with you of myself for HNT. At ten o'clock this morning I was spreading my legs for another man; being fondled, and probed and felt up! But, I have no breast lumps, I have a "good uterus" (actual spoken words from my doc) and there is a healthy 9 and 1/2 week shrimp inside there! So, the man handling wasn't worth naught! But, I have lost my creativity and...hmmm...drive to get half nekkid for anyone else today!
So today I am pimping out my husband! And the blow fish he caught while salt water fishing.

Happy HNT. And give my renter a click for "Women Lifestyle, Fashion, Health, Beauty and Personality on tips, news, and information." The celebrity blogs are the best! Angelina is ready to bust and has flown her OB all the way to Africa!

2006-05-24T12:05:00.000-04:00

Isn't it Ironic? No...it all means something!
I woke myself up this morning in a racking, hacking, coughing fit. Actually I woke up my hubby and my kids too. The one practically on top of me and the other one at my feet! (no wonder we're all sick).
"Happy birthday" I crackled in DH's ear as he kissed me goodbye. "oh wait...can you go to the store first and get me all the stuff to make your birthday dinner?!" How sad is that?! But, he can either help me out or we can just pretend his birthday is actually on Saturday! Still...the guilt!
So, the dinner is cooking, and his favorite homemade bread is rising and I hide my face in my shirt for every cough and sneeze! Ewww....then I look around the house for the first time in 3 days.. Thanks to DH's sister it's not looking to bad, but the laundry room is filled to overflowing. I had to sniff each pile to determine clean or dirty! Ahhh...more guilt. This morning Mr. J had to wear one of his new birthday shirts (from his sister...yes the only presents he got were from his sister! Insert more guilt) cause all his other shirts are either dirty or wrinkled beyond recognition! So, even through my coughing fits and the fact that every breath hurts, I am doing laundry. Like really doing...each load is being folded and hung. Maybe I shouldn't push myself but I feel so bad! I'm supposed to be taking care of my man! (pause...cough cough...HACK!...gasp...need air!)
Then I saw Fidget's post today!
WTF am I doing? How come he can't do one load for himself so he doesn't have to "hang loose" all day! It's not like he has to throw a basket of clothes over his back, march down to the river, fend off the hungry crocs and algae just to get something clean to wear! He's damn lucky he hasn't said a word about the laundry that's all I can say!
Oh yea...Happy Birthday honey...I love you! LMAO!

And as I am visiting my fav blogs for the day I find this over at momyblogR

2006-05-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

So much for the complaining

I guess I didn't take into account all the things I have to be grateful for with summer coming and my little groupies moshing at my feet all day! Cause 2 days ago all I did was whine and bitch and the next day I was hit by a train...the flu train! I am down for the count; passing out on the couch only to wake and find my children wandering around the backyard in sheer boredom. At least it was the backyard! I have no voice to yell with (and I realize now just how much of that I do - not only in anger but when the grubbys can't find me and begin to panic cause they haven't thought to look in my room)! I have no throat to swallow with and the "eating every two hours" thing still needs to happen or I will throw up! I have no strength to argue and the kids have taken full advantage! Watching entirely too much tv and having snack food in place of meals!
And of course I have no desire for any "boom boom" but my DH tells me every few seconds how ravishing I am even when I'm sick. I answer with an infamous eye roll and last night I had to peel his hand off my ass in a sleep deprived stupor!
On a good note I called in sick, so for two days I have no screaming child to watch! There's a little good in everything isn't there?!

2006-05-21T17:05:00.000-04:00

"Movin on up" ceremony

Here is my Ben with his "moving up" class (he's the kid who's head is the only part of his body visible). They played Jesus Loves Me on the bells...well most of them did. Ben and the little girl next to him were fighting eachother for more space (as you can see there was none). Each time they elbowed the other, their bells would ring out of place. I had to laugh!
Ben is done with his preschool class. On the one hand I am excited. He will be in pre-K starting in July. But that's just it...starting in July! What am I supposed to do with him until then? He is not the child who plays nicely on his own...or even is able to think of something to play on his own. That would be Juli. So, not only do I have to spend the next month figuring out things for him/us to do, I have to keep reminding myself that computer, tv and Nintendo MUST to be limited. SInce Ben was young I have been trying to teach him how to be imaginative and creative but some kids just don't have that ability! So, to school he went. I am a firm believer however that you never stop learning things about your kids and I am praying that he surprises me. Anyone else dreading summer?

2006-05-18T11:47:00.000-04:00

HAPPY HNT!
Being pregant is...eating EVERY two hours. I feel like a pig!

And peeing every 30 minutes! At least it appears that I am drinking enough fluids!

LOL! Happy HNT everyone. Click on the lady in red on my sidebar to find out what the craziness is all about!
And give my renter a click! In The Outer is a great place to read and express yourself on the deeper things of life! Tell her My2groupies sent you!

2006-05-17T16:49:00.000-04:00

Baby shower and a cry for HELP!

I am throwing a shower for a girlfriend of mine. About 5 of my friends have been pregnant lately - must be in the air but I didn't know it was so contagious! I love throwing parties, but this time it's with NO MONEY! We just moved and haven't sold the other house yet so money is tight. I have to come up with some games and decor on a serious budget and I am worrying way too much about this. So I am putting it out there to hear what you all have to say. Anyone have any thrifty ideas? I am very crafty so even things I could make on my own would be cool. But since I got pregnant my creative side has taken a downward spin! Help me!

2006-05-16T11:16:00.000-04:00

Prince Charming? or just a Baby Frog!

Some might think it too early to be discussing names. At 8 weeks I am just barely getting over the morning sickness. I have no baby tummy yet. Just a bloated stomach and a dropping ego! At least my pants still fit (on good days). I hate being pregnant, but I love having babies. So, this leaves me constantly thinking of the one part of pregnancy I love (besides not having to do the dirty dishes cause the smells make me dry heave). Writing down our favorite names. Jude, Jackson, Luke, Cash, Jack, Caitlyn, Emma, Kiera, Katy...I bought a book with 100 thousand baby names so we won't over look a single one!
As we were riding in the car I was thinking. "How do you like Lukas?" I ask DH. He thinks it's alright, but he's not as excited about that as I am. He can't even tell I'm pregnant for crying out loud, cept for the fact that I'm bitching an awful lot! When there is some movement and a picture to go with the belly, that's when he begins to get excited.
4 year old Ben pipes up from the backseat. "Who's Luke, mom?"
"It's just a name we are trying to decide if we like."
"Yeah but WHO is it?"
"It's a name for the baby. (he's totally into the fact that I could be having a boy) We have to think of what we're going to call the baby. Like we decided to name you Benjamin and your sister Juliana."
"Oh"
dad asks "What names do you like for the baby, Ben?"
A short pause followed by (in all sincerity) "We should call him FROG!"

2006-05-13T14:03:00.000-04:00

Remember these?
If you don't then please visit my March Archives and read about my obsession. These are the boots I had dreams about!

With the help of my brother they were ordered as a birthday present. When they came I lifted them out of the box and straight to my nose. Ahhhhhh...leather smell! Then I put them on. I was wearing my crappy clothes at the moment since we were packing to move but I didn't care how silly I looked. They were MY boots! I bought them for a trip West I had been planning on for 2 years. I bought my size but only the right foot boot fit. Weird, I thought. Maybe I was just PMS or something and had a swollen foot. I decided to wait a week or so and try them again before returning them for another size. But the next week I missed my period. I knew what that meant. No trip. And if no trip, I really had no reason to hang on to a $250.00 pair of boots no matter how much I love them! So, this week I must send them back. (Tears welling) Sadness. But not without a finally heavy sniff goodbye!

2006-05-12T18:00:00.000-04:00

Our Newest Addition
In case moving, taking on a baby 40 hours a week and getting pregnant weren't enough, we now have a $300 addition to our family. We got a beautiful Ragdoll kitty. I have been familiar with this breed for quite some time but was surprised to find out how many people have no clue what Ragdolls are. To put it simply they are show cats. Only bred to and by the best of the best. We were LUCKY to find Belle at such a low price. But we fell in love with her and begged! She has been one of the best $300 dollars we have ever spent. Not only is she beautiful and adores people, but she NEVER pulls out the claws or teeth, even when my brother spins her across the floor or my 2 year old pulls the hair on her tail!
Yesterday I found her sleeping in an abandoned drawer on the kitchen floor.

She is so floppy she pretty much looks comfortable anywhere. I let out my son's little ferret today and followed closely to make sure he and kitty would be ok together. What I saw should have made it to Planets Funniest Animals. The ferret hopped along doing his exploring thing and kitty followed, chirping at him! Any time he disappeared behind dressers and even the dish washer, kitty would wait for him and pop him on the head as he would start to come out! The ferret thought it was fun and began darting from place to place with kitty on his tail! At one point they actually had a tussle but it didn't last long cause the ferret freaked out as his little body disappeared beneath the 13 pound cat! For hours after I put the little guy away Belle roamed the house crying. I think she was annoyed that she didn't get to satiate her natural lust to wrestle the little varmint to the ground and pin it with her teeth! Thank god...cause that video would have made it to the Animal Rights Activists!

2006-05-11T15:23:00.000-04:00

HNT - The Power of Geisha!

To melt a heart, to bring a smile, ooozing cuteness out every orifice! This is the power of a Geisha.

Super glad I took these pictures cause the next day after a wash they had two buttons pop off and the crotch of the pants frayed open. We're not talking ripped in an easy to fix seam, actually frayed like cut-off jeans! poo! Or as Juli says (thanx to her Auntie) "Poopin Da Pan!"

2006-05-10T21:48:00.000-04:00

Moved on and getting going!

I thought of something everyday to blog about and...no computer. Sorry to those who dropped by and saw a post 2 weeks old. Thank you to those 3 of you loyal readers who come back hoping for more! Well, I've got it!

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

I have started watching a five month old 40 hours a week for some extra income. And I just moved and I'm in the first trimester of pregnancy...not the best time to watch a kid but I thought "what's one more?" Evidently one more is the straw that will break this mama-camel's back. I won't vent about that just yet. I'm sure the day is coming when I will need to blog scream and rant (that will be the day I will need 10 comments to keep me from pill popping!) Yesterday my perfect angel of a child (not bias here. People really ask me how she got to be so darn good - that's when I look at them funny and clear my throat "ummmm she's mine" I say) - anyway darling Juli has been having the hardest time of all adjusting to the new house. She screams "I wanna go home to mommy's house!" Yea, that's a hard one to explain to a two and half year old. So she has needed extra comfort and security, including back to sleeping in mommy's bed, carrying two binkies at all hours of the day and taking naps! And dealing with a baby all day is challenging and totally unfair to her as far as she's concerned. But thus far we have had no aggression toward the baby as a result...just my toaster!
I was spending time with my 4 year old while the baby slept and Juli watching tv. I'm not sure when she left the room but I wouldn't be one to worry about that anyway. Then my nose caught whiff of a faint burning smell. It took my brain more seconds than usual to realize I WASN"T COOKING ANYTHING! I jumped up..."Juli what are you doing in there?"
"I toast mama!"
"What's in there?" I'm yelling by now as I look into my toaster oven and see smoke pouring out. Again I froze (I must blame this on my pregnancy...I guess it takes brain cells to make a baby. And this one should be extra smart!)
"Baba" Juli says worried now that mommy is shouting.
What do I do? Do I need a fire extinguisher? Do I even know where one is in the new house? Can I just use water? But won't that be really bad cause it's electrical?
And then whatever is in there actually catches on fire! I was forced to think fast and whatever I would do had to be done across the chair that the culprit had used to get on the counter in the first place. Cause there was no time to move a chair! First I turned off the oven and unplugged it. I grabbed the oven mit and yanked the rack out.

The paper cup turned to ashes as it touched the air and the melting "baba" (baby bottle) began to instantly cool around the wire rack. Damn, I should have put that bottle away when I was done with it (but how many of us SAH moms really do that? Ok...don't answer that) Once the fire was under control I turned on Juli. I don't think I was mean, but my tender hearted drama mama can not tolerate getting in trouble. She burst into tears!

I switched tactics. I said how she scared me and how I hoped she wasn't hurt! I know she won't mess with the toaster again...that's the good thing about her "she never makes the same mistake twice." (quote from Anne of Green Gables). I guess we resolved the issue but a half hour later and Juli was still pouty. Guess that's what comes of a child who's "mine!"

2006-04-29T18:44:00.000-04:00

It's time to move on...
It's time to get going...
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.
But under my feet baby, the grass is growing!
Yea, It's time to move, it's time get going!

Hey, broken skyline...
Which way to love land?
Which way to something better?
Which way to forgiveness?
Which way do I go?

Hey, it's time to move on...
It's time to get going...
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.
But under my feet baby, the grass is growing!
Yea, It's time to move, it's time get going!

- Tom Petty - It's time to get going -

2006-04-28T12:51:00.000-04:00

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION...
Internet Explorer sucks! I think everyone BUT me has Foxfire and so therefore people CAN see my sidebar. Well now I just feel stupid...but it's not the first time and with another kid on the way it WON'T be my last! So...ignore my last post and CHECK OUT MY RENTER! She won't be here much longer and she is worth the click! Thanx for sticking with me Jade. It's always a WILD rave here at My2Groupies. What else can you really expect?! Just another day in the life of a famous mom!

2006-04-28T10:48:00.000-04:00

LOST MY SIDEBAR!
Ok people of the blog world. I am calling on you for help today. Usually Friday is a heavy traffic day for me and I totally intended to PIMP my renter big time. I have been clicking on her everyday cause I am sure to get a few laughs and great pics! But when I posted on Tuesday I put up a lot of picturs and lost my sidebar. Now no one can see my renter and I feel horrible!
Here is my attempt to get my sidebar back.

Please bear with me....

I am trying to take up the whole page....

someone said they thought my pics were too big and so they crowded out my sidebar...

Hmmmmm....I want a cinamon bun....

And I need to pack the kitchen and the back bedroom....

I need to wash the dog...she smells like a pooch fart.

We'll see if that works. Please leave me any ideas on how to save my sidebar! Thanks! And I will pretty much be MIA this weekend and maybe more since we have to move the computer and set it all up again at our new house.

Of all the craziest things I have ever seen! I just posted to try and save my sidebar and then I found it! Ok peeps! Scroll all the way down my blog page and give my renter a click. I owe it to her and you will enjoy yourself anyway!

2006-04-27T11:17:00.000-04:00

I'M LATE!!!!!!!!!
There's a double meaning in that statement. Usually I am "up" for HNT first thing in the morning. Well this morning I was "up" with the doctor. I missed a period (ooops) and having severe pelvic pain. My OB said we needed to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. So at 9:00 this morning I was stripping for another man! And getting probed too! 3 separate times! Here's what he found...among other things...

He also discovered some blood/fluid floating around in my girl area. Probably a ruptured cyst which explains the pain! But baby is ok! My DH is so excited! And I'm getting there...I guess the next 8 months should procure some pretty interesting HNT photos!

2006-04-26T10:34:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking of the panda lately. First of all let me explain my train of thought because I don't expect you to get there on your own! Yesterday, around lunchtime of course, we passed a Panda Express. It is one of the better Chinese Fast food restaurants in our area. But it was still under construction. It made me want some lo mein pretty bad! Anyway the panda on the sign made me remember how much I like panda bears, not something I think about very often. I remember a story from my childhood about the panda's mask and why it is black around their eyes. I shared the story with my DH and another friend. They had never heard the legend and of course I began to think I was crazy. Maybe it was a dream. But I found the story this morning and would like to share it. It is a sad but beautiful story. One that makes you want to believe it really happened.

The legend begins with the panda as a totally white bear.
A young panda cub lost in his impish curiosity wanders away from his mother. But without her he had no protection.
The glowing eyes of a leopard watched him from the bush.
As he tumbled along in the weeds a young shepherd girl happened upon him. She knew that seeing a panda meant good fortune and blessings on her for the rest of her life. So she stopped and called to him.
As she reached out to touch him the leopard came leaping from the bush angry that another had tried to take his meal. The shepherd girl used her bamboo staff to strike the leopard over and over. The leopard was not hurt and turned on the girl. She lost her life in the struggle. The panda cub made his escape, but he knew he had the shepherd girl to thank for his life.
All the pandas held a special funeral in honor of the young girl and wore black armbands as a sign of their mourning. Their tears dripped onto the bands and the black dye began to run. When they wiped their eyes, it left black rings. When they hugged each other in comfort, it left spots on their backs. When they covered their ears to block out the sound of sadness, it colored their ears black.
Today the Giant Panda is a symbol of peace in China. It is said that during wartime the pandas mourn and do not eat, and during times of peace they flourish.
See? Didn't I say you would like it?

2006-04-25T11:15:00.000-04:00

We are moving!

Goodbye to the crappy little rental houses that surround our home.

Goodbye to the neighbors who drink and swear.

Goodbye to the dogs who wander around at night and pee on our bikes and cars.

Goodbye to the dirt road we live on and all the dust it causes!

Goodbye to the brand new park right down the road that was our only happiness until the neighborhood urchins scratched horrifying words into it's plastic goodness.

And finally a goodbye to the 6 and 8 year olds who play everything in the middle of the street and a goodbye to their families who need a good Nanny Jo lecture on being responsible parents!

2006-04-23T09:33:00.000-04:00

ONE DORA POTTY BOOK with real flushing sounds! - $8.50

ONE PACK OF DORA PANTIES - $5.75

A 24 PACK OF BOUNTY for cleaning up the "ooopsies" - $11.99

MY 2 YEAR OLD GOING PEE-PEE on the POTTY TWICE THIS WEEK? - PRICELESS

2006-04-21T09:29:00.000-04:00

The Catholic Funeral

My grandparents on both sides are as Catholic as the Pope himself. I honestly don't know much about it, but I do know that my grandpa loved the Lord with all his heart. And made fun of his own religion. He used to cross himself and say "All you people" (with the up and down hand motion) "get off the grass!" (with the side to side motion). That being said, I must now relate to you the ins and outs of the Catholic funeral.
There is always a viewing. I had to read a short essay once, back in my freshman year of college, about the specific preparations a body undergoes to be laid out for a viewing. The reality is that death is ugly. But no one wants to look at a lost loved one covered in "death." So out comes the makeup. Layer upon layer of foundation, rouge, and faint lip color. Hair gel, skin toner and on and on...And then the inevitable comment comes from one in the family seeking to comfort themselves in the knowledge that their loved one has gone to a better place; "He's smiling, you see? He has a look of peace." When I hear this I feel a rush of peace myself - and then the truth of what has happened to a body's face before a viewing hits me like a ton of bricks. If I hadn't been required to read that essay I would be better off today. In light of that last comment I leave you to learn about it yourself if curiosity overcomes you!
There is always a wake. The body is placed where everyone attending will be able to see. And the prayers begin. I never knew how important prayers beads really are. If the priests leading the wake would have lost count of all the Hail Marys he was leading us in, an awkward and disastrous silence would have overcome the room. There are four points of scripture to speaks on following a death and 10 Hail Marys after each point. Followed by an Our Father and a Benediction. Totaling 40 Hail Marys (enough to last a lifetime of sin) and numerous Our Fathers and other recited prayers. I did my best to join in, congratulating myself all the while on my ability to foresee the dangers of bringing my 2 and 4 year old to such an event.
And finally there is always a Mass. The body is shut in the casket and rolled along the floor of the church as the father shakes Holy Water over the box. There are songs, a short sermon on death and the one lost, and a communion. Everything is very solemn and every head bowed in reverence. The Father opened with a Benediction. And this is where I pause to ask how many of you have seen the Princess Bride? If so you will thoroughly appreciate what I am about to tell you. If you haven't seen it rent it TODAY and enjoy! The Father opened with "We awe gawered hewe today to wemember Pauw..." I stifled a snorting laugh and leaned over to my brother. "Mawaige!" He jabbed me in the ribs. I endured an hour and a half without so much as a giggle and felt as though I was meeting someone famous as I shook his hand. Later as my Uncle and Aunt and cousins all piled into our van someone said "I feel bad cause I didn't understand half of what that guy was saying!" I laughed out loud and boomed "MAWAIGE!" There was a thundering roar of laughter and the silence of sadness was broken. We will miss you grandpa. You were the one to teach us to find humor in all things and I bet you were rolling in your grave right along with us! May you "west" in peace!

2006-04-14T14:52:00.000-04:00

I had a post all planned for today; then I got the call.
My favoritist Gramps has had his 3d heart attack! And the general consensus is that this one is gonna be the killer.
The weirdest part? My mom died 4 years ago on March 29th. But it was Good Friday. And here we are again. And this time it's her father. Not so "good" for our family. Hope you all have a better weekend than I am expecting. Take time to remember how precious life is. If you don't say/do "it" (whatever it is) NOW! you might never get the chance. And that would suck...just ask me.

And as I finish the spell check for this post I got the call. He's gone...
I HATE THIS FUCKING DEATH SHIT! And this awful feeling of being soooo alone.
God help me remeber that on Easter, You made death only a temporary seperation.

2006-04-13T08:55:00.000-04:00

Have a silly and fun HNT!

Juli and mommy being crazy. This was actually her idea. "Take picture wike dis mommy," she said as she stuck out her tongue. She almost licked me! Which she would have gotten a big kick out of as I was washing off my face!
Today is a day of fun! We are headed for Disney World. Lots of pics tomorrow! (the stomach thing is still a mystery. I don't care as long as it's gone...and NO I am not pregnant! As I knock on wood - don't even think it!)

2006-04-12T10:14:00.000-04:00

THE END OF MY PROVERBIAL ROPE!
What the hell is up with my stomach?! I just told my son "If you don't leave me alone right now...I will throw up on you!" That's how bad I feel!

2006-04-11T11:23:00.000-04:00

Body art!

My little Jewels is a painter...actually a painter, a drawer, a colorer, a gluer, a playdoh eater...anything crafty and she is right in the middle of it! So I try to encourage this. It is not something I have, but both of my brothers are very gifted and so are both of DH's sisters. We paint almost every other day and these pictures she did were all done with her hands. The best one I couldn't post. It's stuck on my phone and I can't get it to e-mail to me. It is her little hand print 3 times over put in almost the same spot. It looks like a little baby hand with 8 fingers! But this one she did herself too! She has titled it her "appy bace!" or Happy face (for those of you who didn't test your "kid-lingo" - see my post 2 days ago)

Now, on the other hand, my little monster is a PYROMANIAC! This he got directly from both of parent's genetic makeup. He can't help it and my DH can't help but teach him what fun it is to burn things! So, the day he recieved his first magnifying glass they both got so excited. As a matter of face I think they started fighting over it!
"I wanna try!"
"But I have to show you how!"
"No! I know how!" (he's 4 and he knows everything!)
"No you don't! It's really cool-let me just have it!" (he's 38 and he knows everything too!!!)
Anyway, once they sorted themselves out (I leave them to learn on their own) they began burning the fallen leaves in the yard. More fun then raking them I suppose!

2006-04-09T20:48:00.000-04:00

The most fun Fund Raiser!
For the second year in a row my father and I attended the Teal Magnolia Luncheon hosted by The Ovarian Cancer Alliance of Florida. They really do an awesome job and all the profits go to the Alliance to help find a cure for women with this terrible disease and to get the word out. Ovarian Cancer has been called the silent killer. The symptoms for it are so insignificant that before you know it your body could be ridden with cancer. This is what happened to my mother and within a year of finding out how sick she was, she died. So, this is one way for my dad and I to contribute and to find consolation with survivors and families who also have lost. The luncheon begins with an amazing silent auction. They have everything from jewelry to mini-vacations, handbags to amazing artwork. The bids start at reasonable prices, bargains actually, but by the end of the afternoon the auction alone had raised something like $14,000!!!! My contribution (thanks to my dad) won me a fabulous Fossil purse! That auction stuff can be addicting! The Lucheon provided us with some really great entertainment such as the very talented Jacqueline Jones. She can scat like nothing I've ever seen! Also the speakers included Miss Florida 2005, Mari Wilensky (who wore her little crown everywhere) and Jacqueline London from our local news station. Anyway, it was a fabulous time with fabulous people and I was glad to be a part of something that will make a difference for women everywhere. Please read and know the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer And if you feel it on your heart to make a donation, you have a personal "thank you" from me and from all the women and families out there struggling with or suffering from this terrible disease. We can't know what tomorrow will bring, but we can strive to make tomorrow possible for those who have no hope. One day at a time.

2006-04-08T14:11:00.000-04:00

DO YOU KNOW KID-LINGO?
Juli has been melting my heart lately with her 2 year old banter! She has something to say about everything! And it always brings a smile to my face.
Take a minute and see how well versed you are in the art of kid-lingo.

Juli says:
I yunt duce!
a memmer mommy?
pawk-a-boo!
a puss a twing!
no! pusha back! paster!
Hee I am!
Pind me mommy!
1-2-3-4-5...7...errr not! Hee I tum

Translation - well lets see how many of you know!
Winner gets 10 credits! Have an awesome weekend. I now return to my regularly scheduled program...Sleeping!

2006-04-07T11:06:00.000-04:00

The Princess and the Pea...errr...quarter

I haven't been sleeping well. As you can see form my previous posts I have until now blamed the time change. So, last night was the same as every other night. Stayed up till I felt tired...as a matter of fact I was exhausted. When my head hit the pillow my mind started turning. I don't have any idea what I was thinking about so intently but it kept my from sleeping. I used my body relaxation technique. Think about your feet - feet relax - now your legs - legs relax - and so on until you are relaxed. It actually helped and I fell asleep. The first time I woke was a nature call. No big deal but of course I couldn't fall back asleep. Flipped my pillow, turned over, found the covers, turned over again...you know the routine. The next time I woke was the sound of my son calling very urgently for daddy. Yelling for daddy actually. The sound of his voice was so full of fear it shot adrenaline through my veins. Once my heart stopped beating through my chest I fell asleep again. At some point I rolled onto a Binky and woke up as it dug into the soft space between my ribs! I think Ben woke me up one more time before my alarm did and by that time I swear I hadn't slept more than 4 hours. I rolled myself into the bathroom where I sat on the pot and took my pj's off. There, stuck to the side of my leg was a quarter. My foggy brain figured I had just sat on it a few minutes before. But as I pulled the coin from my flesh I realized it had been there a long time. It had made it's own little quarter sized whole in my leg with a clear impression of a president's head. Weird...but at least it explains why I haven't been able to sleep. No telling how long that money had been hidden beneath the covers! Needless to say I am changing the sheets on my bed today and I fully expect a good 9 hours of sleep tonight!

2006-04-06T10:03:00.000-04:00

It's HNT and I don't have my camera!

So here is my darling girl being...well being a girl! Just doesn't get any cuter than this! That's it baby, show me your fat lip!

My DH is taking a fishing day today (yes, he works for himself so he can do that) and he took the camera. Last night as I was showing him some picture possibilities for today he muttered "I don't like that." At first I thought he meant the pics, so I asked him. Turns out I have a jealous husband; which I think I really like! He doesn't want everyone else seeing certain parts of me. What? You mean you don't want me to post pictures of my love handles, my butt rolls or my armpit boobs? OH FINE!
Have it your way! (giggle giggle)
And one more thing just because I wanna complain about it. Last night I was out on the road going somewhere to do something (don't blame me for my brain farts - blame the time change). I'm cruising along, singing my song and I looked in my rear view mirror. Some bee-atch was riding my ass trying to get to the RED light faster than me. I resisted the urge to stay in front of her and slow down to a crawl and moved into the other lane. She went zooming by in her little white Beamer and as she did I cast one of my meanest glares in her general direction. She had her seat way back (like bee-atchs do) and her big ole' bug-eye glasses (another bee-atch thing Hilton started) and she had her manicured, flip-flop clad foot hanging out the window. I think I actually snorted when I laughed! But then all I wanted to do was roll down my window and ask her if the color of car was white or grey (it was even grosser than my car and I live on dirt road). What stops me from being a bee-atch to someone who needs it?!

2006-04-04T21:26:00.000-04:00

MY CSI ADDICTION PAYS OFF!

Ok, I know this is the most watched crime show in the world, and so what I am about to say is kinda a given, but I friggin love CSI. I'll watch any of them! Even NY and Miami but I really enjoy Las Vegas the best. As far as I'm concerned William Peterson MAKES that show! And for some strange reason my brain retains everything he says! I guess it helps that he's hot. It's got to be easier to pay attention to a sexy man than...well then the guy on CSI Miami! Anyway let me get to my point.
This afternoon we stopped by to see DH in the middle of the day. A rare and special occurrence. In the car I let Juli out of her seat to give him some love! So we got to talking (yes after 8 years together we still enjoy doing that!) and J kept herself busy while she waited for me. Busy cramming money into the tape deck of my Honda! By the time I noticed, she had almost finished putting a whole fist full of pennies in there!
*$%&**#@#%**$#*!!!!!
I snatched the money away and returned the thief to her seat. Now what to do? I am soooo not paying someone to take money out of my tape deck! My mind whirled. A picture of Gil Grissom fishing a bullet out of a rain drain grate thing flashed through my mind. GUM - I need gum. So I open the console of my car to fish a piece out and what do I find....

Yes ABC gum. I guess my 4 year decided to trade in his chewed gum for a new piece and had left the old gum in the console of my car...melting. Ok, so I had my sticky gum. I took a straw out of my drink from lunch (why did I give in to that McDonalds urge?!). I wrapped the melted gum around the end and fished out 5 pennies by sticking the gum to each coin and pulling it out! YES!(as I do a glory dance in my chair). I am good! Thank you Grissom.

2006-04-04T10:31:00.000-04:00

DAMN TIME CHANGE

Ben was a half an hour late for school this morning! We slept and slept and when I woke up it was 9, but it felt like 8. I rushed, he rushed, Juli went with us in her diaper and bed head! The teacher had locked the door and was right in the middle of a project. Needless to say I was a bit embarrased as I knocked for Ben to be let in. POO! The time change has us all totally fog brained. Last night it took two hours to get the kids to settle down for bed. The first hour felt too early and the second hour they were over tired! Oh well...there is a first time for everything...yes I have never been more than 7 minutes late. Can't say that anymore.

2006-04-03T11:18:00.000-04:00

The UNI-BOMBER in Pre-K

"Once upon a time there was a little bomb. It blew up the whole city. Then it blew up the entire universe! The end."
Yes, this is a real story written by one of the children in the VPK class at Ben's school. Very frightening isn't it? And to be even more absurd is the fact that they hung it on the wall next to all the other stories about going to Disney World or buying groceries with mommy! Terrifying. And check it out. This is the picture he drew to go with his story.

Yes, you are seeing it right. Blackness. A black crayon run over the paper so many times it was beginning to curl. If I were the teacher in this class I'd be having a parent/teacher conference right away! Ok - I understand freedom of the written word and even equality among students (meaning if they hung everyone else's stories they would have to hang this child's - ok fine we all know it's a boy!) - but don't you think when a 4 year old boy comes up with this kind of story there must be something, shall we say, not so healthy going on in his pea brain?! If I were his mother I would be shocked and distraught. But behind the bedroom doors, in the privacy of my own bathroom, I would laugh my ass off!!!!!!!!

2006-03-31T12:20:00.000-05:00

My first famous person dream!

I think everybody in the world has had famous people in their dreams besides me! Well I finally had mine and someone I never expected was there to greet me. Clint Eastwood? What in the world? How random. I think I figured it out. My DH had my cell phone set to wake him up at 5:00 this morning. It was loud - and it was playing The Good the Bad and the Ugly - a real western. I remember growling at him to turn it off. Then I made him give it to me and I turned off the snooze (whoops - hehe). So when I went back to sleep that's what was on my mind. In the dream I had my cell phone and it rang to the same great tune. And Clint Eastwood stopped to say what a cool ringer it was. I acted totally nonchalant (sooo not what I would be like in real life) and showed him my phone. I told him I got it because of him and all his westerns! He smiled at me and moved on. Weird and cool at the same time, but to be brutally honest I think I have only EVER seen one movie with Eastwood. Oh well, he's still hot in his cowboy hat!

2006-03-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

TGIHNT (thank god it's HNT)

After two heavy days of posting I am thankful for a chance to relax and let my hair down. ENJOY and happy HNT everyone!

2006-03-29T21:30:00.000-05:00

WHEN I STOPPED SEEING MOTHER WITH THE EYES OF A CHILD, I SAW THE WOMAN WHO HAD HELPED ME GIVE BIRTH TO MYSELF. -nancy friday-

Me and my mom - a world ago!
Mom - Together we form a chain, a chain of love, reaching from the past into the future. We will be together again - to hope is to live!

2006-03-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

36 hours till my life falls apart...again

Tomorrow night at 10:47 will mark the exact time. It will be four years since our world crumbled and it just hasn't gotten any easier. Should it? We watched her diteriorate before our eyes. One year after finding out that she was sick at all, she left us to figure out this world on our own. We were all young - the oldest just 21 and the youngest 14. And me in the middle - newly wed and pregnant. My child was the reason I could pick myself up and live day by day. He became the very breath of my life. I could find no other joy and so clung to him in an almost unnatural way. Every day was like living someone else's life; like watching the worst part of a movie in slow motion over and over. When I spoke it was like hearing someone else's voice, and when I slept the dreams came. So I stopped sleeping. I let everything go. Everything that had mattered to me began to slip away; except my baby. I couldn't tell you where my father was. I couldn't tell you where my brothers were. I longed to be close to them, to cry together until the tears could not come anymore. And at the same time I resented the reminder they brought with them. And so I hid behind my son. It was like the tighter I held him, the safer I felt; the more sure I was that he wouldn't leave me. It wasn't until someone I loved found himself in a worse situation than me that I really looked away from myself and began to heal. In my grief I realized that he needed me more than anything and I felt strong again. I began to pick up the pieces of my life. And I began trying to help him find the pieces of his.
These 4 years after our loss have been the very beginnings of finding ourselves. Finding how to move on after hitting rock bottom. Figuring out who we want to be and how we become that without her love and support. Finding our place in a world without her. Looking for her life in every corner of ours. And finding it!
We miss you mom and we always will.

2006-03-27T13:54:00.000-05:00

Pick Me a Winner Baby!

Me and my groupies took our new truck out this weekend! Yes, it is a looker isn't it?! After 5 years with only our Accord it was about time for an SUV! Got a pretty good deal on it although it seems to be inhabited by aliens! It makes chirping and bleeping sounds as you drive - hmmmmm weird.
I've been blog hopping today and finding a renter for my site (you can click on the pic of his blog in my sidebar to visit - he's got some pretty interesting photography) - ummmm what was I talking about (scroll up...reading...Oh Yea!) One of the topics of discussion was what and where kids stick things. Erasers in the ears, marbles down the pipes and pretzels up the nose! I thought I would share what Juli sticks where!

And any nuggets she finds get gawked at followed by an "ewwwww...here mommy!" Or "tissu pwease!" Yes, at least she knows where they belong! While on the flip side we had to paint "no nail biting" formula on my son's fingers to keep him from stashing the "gold" in his mouth! Yummy...

2006-03-25T21:32:00.000-05:00

Weekend fun!

Ben and Juli's auntie came to see us this weekend - it's always fun times when she visits. Playing, drawing, chatting - Not to mention the ringside view when squabbles break out between DH and his sister! Do brothers EVER stop bugging their sisters? For anyone who was wondering the answer is NO! Here Juli is doing her gymnastic trick, skin-the cat, for the 7th time! Auntie got rubber arms!
Then we gave the 2 year old full rein of the camera just for kicks. Surprisingly enough she knows exactly how and what to do! Here is her first modern art photograph. "AYO" must mean something (besides the obvious close up shot to the Crayola box)!

After a day of family fun the hubby and I went to dinner at the Outback Bar so as not to stray far from the March Madness game. But there was no complaining on my part. When we pulled up it was already super busy at 5:30. I sent my man in to put down our name for some seats. Figuring we would be waiting awhile for dinner I sat in the car till he came back. Except he didn't. I filed my nails, checked my phone for a fun new ringtone, twiddled my thumbs and sent him a text message. "Where you at monkey?" He called a few seconds later. "I got us a table at the bar - come on in." I looked down at the car door - the locks were down. "I can't" I replied. "You locked me in my car!" He had to ask the waitress to save our spot, explaining that he had locked the doors upon exiting the car and if I tried to get out the alarm would sound! DuOh!

2006-03-24T09:59:00.000-05:00

Setting Sail

We had a dinner engagement last night that actually ended up being more fun than I expected - which is always nice! Our host took us out for a quick trip on the river - the St. John's.

The water was quiet, the wind cold and the boat fast! Ben loved it! Juli was her normal self "my hair! it blow my hair! my eyes - it poke my eyes! Go back to mommy's house!" So, as you can see there are no pictures of the maiden in distress! After a 20 minute ride at about 40 mph, Ben looks up and says "can we go fast now?!" Our driver fell out of his chair laughing and offered instead for Ben to captain the boat!

Needless to say it was a fun trip followed by an awesome dinner of homemade lasagna, salad and charlotte rouse for dessert...yummm. I was very pleased with how things were going and my kids were on good behavior. But just as I dared to relax, their little dog began relentlessly attempting to get it on with my leg. I tried distracting him with toys and petting, but I think that only made his little puppy heart more excited! Maybe I smelled good...whatever the case I ended up with my feet on their couch with Juli on my lap like a little dog shield! And I took a shower as soon as I got home feeling grossly violated! I love my girl dog! Hey maybe that's why he liked me - damn it!

2006-03-23T11:02:00.000-05:00

My first HNT - Half Nekkid Thursday!

Juli wanted in on this shot! And it was just too sweet to pass up! Happy Half Nekkid Thursday everyone! Keep those cameras clickin! And for those of who you don't know what HNT is check it out! And then put up your own shot!

2006-03-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

Shuffle to the left...

shuffle to the right! This IPOD shuffle is what's on the way to my house as we speak! I am psyched! I'm doin the Ord shuffle dance about it. Yea...don't pretend you don't do it too every time it comes on Dragon Tails - all you moms out there! My DH has an MP3 player that I never get to use and my old CD player kinda disappeared...maybe I made it disappear! I really don't remember (it's been that long since I had any portable music). The first songs goin on it are all Johnny Cash songs! Get a Rhythm baby!
And the Winterfresh gum reminds me - seen their comercials lately? What a riot - "Be like a crow? No! crows are ugly! Blech! - ya be a big cock, put on feathers and strut your stuff!" and then "chew Winterfresh...oh lovey love love!" If you haven't seen it you must! Winterfresh
click on "cool breath power" and "attraction chronicles" and laugh your ass off!

2006-03-21T14:11:00.000-05:00

This is for my blogger sister who has the flu!
Eat and be whole!
Visit Fidget - her blog is so much fun!

2006-03-20T15:53:00.000-05:00

YEEEE HAAAWWWW!!

Anyone who is or wants to be cowgirl will understand what I am about to write...I freaking LOVE these boots. I wanna take 'em to a dark back alley and make sweet boot love to them! I get all hot and bothered every time I even look at them! And then I wake up! The lowest price I can find is $235.00!!!! How can anyone in their right mind pay that much money for something they are going to put on their feet and walk around in horsey poo in! I guess the key words there are "right mind." And as you can tell from what I just wrote a few sentences back...I am not in my right mind! I am saving all my pennies! And I will step over the poo piles!

2006-03-19T21:43:00.000-05:00

Definition of the word "chill"

v., Chill
slang meaning to calm down or relax - to pass time idly; loiter
or in the infamous Hellein Dictionary (yes..the same one that's used for the game of Scrabble) the definition is simply "Juliana."
I would have joined her but someone had to take the picture! Ahh to be that fancy free!

2006-03-19T21:22:00.000-05:00

MOUTH and FOOT dis-ease

Well, we've got it all! My mouth and Juli's leg.
I am now very much sympathetic to the poor teething baby seen here. I have caught myself numerous times jamming my fingers to the very back of my mouth to push on the swollen gums where my wisdom tooth is trying to come in. This would all be normal and bearable if it weren't for one problem...it is coming in to the side rather then straight down! Yes...owwww. Calling the dentist tomorrow. It will be my first sugery - and I hope they dope me up!

And this is what Juli's leg looks like. Ringworm I guess. For some reason I thought ring worm looked more like a ring...red around the edges and clean on the inside. But this is a pic I found online and it looks just like what she's got. Yuck...guess I'll be calling her doc tomorrow too. What do they do for ringworm? And where in the world did my little OCD girly girl get it?!

2006-03-17T16:39:00.000-05:00

Don Quixote - or rather Donna Quixote

This is my Juli. She is two and getting into the dress up stage of girldom. Here she has donned her brother's knight in shining armor stuff. She paused for a picture but only briefly as she continued her charge down the hallway yelling "I've got my gun" (what she calls the sword) and holding the helmet on her head with her free hand!

We took a day trip to visit some friends at Disney's Fort Wilderness yesterday. It is a lot more fun than I remeber it being when I was a kid! Of course, my dad made us rough it in a tent while Ben and his buddies were mackin out in a fully loaded motorhome! We took the kids swimming for hours - too long I guess, for after a while I looked up from my most intriguing conversation to see Ben's swimsuit at the side of the pool. Now mind you, it is Spring Break here and the camp ground is swarming with kids and families. There had to be 100 people gathered around and in the pool that afternoon. I said "is that Ben's suit?" I froze. "I think it is..." I get up and walk over. The boys are out in the water laughing and carrying on and I pick up the wet suit. At first it wasn't registering in my tired mommy brain. "If this is here, what's he got on out there?" My eyes went wide! NOTHING! OMG! Turns out his little buddy told him it was ok to go naked in the pool and Ben thoght that was a grand idea! Needless to say I was a bit embarrassed as I marched my little naked child over to our table and wrapped him in a towel! "Hey" the guy next to us says, "who doesn't want to swim in the nude?"

2006-03-15T12:38:00.000-05:00

Anyone need a good scrub?

My grandpa forwarded this e-mail to me. Ok usually my grandpa sends me cutesy stuff so when I saw this e-mail I figured I would get a giggle or two. You can imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw some tan and soapy man hineys! Where in the world is this car wash anyway? I'm feeling pretty dirty! :)~

2006-03-15T12:13:00.000-05:00

Howdy all bloggers and wanna-bes! Yes, I know you're out there cause I used to be YOU! Well, I am no longer a blog hopper! Now you can read all about me and what it's like to be FAMOUS! Yes, that's right I have my own fan club...my own groupies. My hubby is a big fan (most nights anyway) and Ben is 4 and Juli is 2 (my dog and my ferret think I'm pretty great as well)! Hence my blog name...course maybe it should have been "my5groupies" but I don't want to give myself airs! :)

Check back with me often...my days are full of crazy stuff to share!

2006-03-15T11:41:00.000-05:00

Howdy Ya'll

you can check me out on MySpace too!