HOW TO BATHE CATS?



Yes, I'm with you. Cats shouldn't have to have baths or have to need baths. Alas mine fits both criteria. Ragdolls are supposed to not shed so much, but I have found that if I don't brush her every day then what I get is balls of cat hair blowing around the corners of my home. Even the dog can't compete.
So, how do you bathe a cat? I never suspected I would have to, so I never bothered to learn. Although I do seem to remember something like this:

The 12 Step Cat Washing Program
1: First, thoroughly clean the toilet, remove the topmost lid covering the tank of water, and turn off the cold-water hose to the toilet.
2: Next, warm up 4 gallons of water to bath temperature. Flush, and add half the water to the tank.
3: Then, raise both lids, add the rest of the water directly to the toilet bowl, and add an ample amount of shampoo to the water.
4: Find a ball of string and entice the cat into the bathroom.
5: Close the bathroom door, and continue petting the cat.
6: In one swift move, pick up the cat, and drop the cat into the toilet bowl, closing both lids.
7: Jump on top of the toilet lid to prevent the cat from escaping.
8: CAUTION: Avoid placing any of your body parts near the edge of the toilet to avoid flailing claws reaching between the toilet and lid.
9: The cat will self-agitate and generate ample sudsing action. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this.)
10: Flush the toilet twice for a quick rinse or 4 times for an effective power rinse cycle, depending on the cat's fur cleaning needs.
11: Clear a path of open doors from the toilet to outside, and then jump off of the lid. CAUTION: Jump away from the bathroom door.
12: The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet to the outside. Air dry time: about 20 minutes.

This really sounds like the most efficient and pain free method of cat bathing, because the only piece of advice I have gotten so far about washing kitties is
"Be sure to wear rubber gloves so you don't have the entire first layer of arm flesh slowly ripped off!"