I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Enough of the cough!
Enough of the pounding ears!
Enough of the hoarse throat!
Enough of the MUUUUCUSSSS!
I am spewing and horking all day and all night. Forget sleeping and eating! I'm 10 weeks pregnant and dropped five pounds! The house has gone to HELL! And the children are on the same path! All I wanted was to be better be Fidget's big (and yummy) luau! So I begged the hubby home from work with a sad, sad (and very true) tale of woe. "I didn't sleep last night, the kids are friggen crazzzy, and I can't handle this crud anymore. I am stuck in a cycle of green and yellow mucus and I can't get out!"
To the doctor I went. In full confidence I headed to my regular walk-in clinic where they always take such good care of me. This place, this hallowed ground is the beginning to the end of EVERY ailment! I have spent 2 and a half hours there before in the room of sickness, willing to put up with the ridiculous wait just to see that beloved man in the white coat holding a pen and prescription pad! I enter the door hesitantly...and let out a sigh of relief. Only 3 people ahead of me! I sign in and put a check in the little box that lets them know I'm pregnant. And I wait. Didn't know three people could take so long. But it's ok. The man in the coat is behind those doors if I only have patience! "Robyn" Yes! That's me! Whoops...a little too enthusiastic for the giant, black, male nurse at the door. Oh, he's an intern. I won't be seeing the doctor. Oh well, as long as he consults the doc on what to give me. I explain my ailments being sure to relate to him the color of the snot I've been coughing up! Ok...now he wants to know when my last period was. Ummmm...February I guess. He looks at me funny. "Well I'm pregnant...so..." His eyebrows shoot up to his curly hairline! "I wrote that on the sign in paper," I whimper. "Well, that changes everything..." He stands. "I'll be right back."
Five more minutes. Good he's consulting the doctor just like I wanted. In 24 hours I'll be as good as new! LUAU HERE I COME!
The intern comes back. Without a tad of sympathy he states, "We can't help you if your pregnant!"
"You mean there's nothing I can take being so early in my pregnancy?"
"No, we can't prescribe you anything. We can't treat pregnant women. Our insurance doesn't cover pregnant women."
I frown feeling like I am diseased from the way he used the word "pregnant"
This office sees kids and adults...just not little kids inside adults!
It would have been nice of them to tell me from the time I signed in and checked the little "pregnant" box, that they couldn't treat me at that office!
In my best Napoleon Dynamite voice "Goooshhhhh! Idiots!"