Where toots come from
I really wish I had the artistic ability to draw a graph for you to go along with this story. But as it is you will have to imagine my hand motions and my stifled giggles!
It started when Ben came crashing into me as I was resting on the couch. The pink pill is a life saver but it's messing with my insides so bad! It is a 3 dose antibiotic which means there is so much antibiotic crammed into three little pills it just keeps going and going for 7 days! Thus reeking havoc on my intestines.
Anyhoo...Ben comes crashing into me showing off his newest Sporticus trick. After a pause and the sought for "super cool dude" Ben sat next to the window with his thinking face on.


"Mom, how come Sporticus doesn't ever toot?"
I wasn't sure I had heard him right. "Toot? Like tooty booty?"
"yeah"
"Well...I suppose he does - they just don't want to show it on tv."
"How come?"
"Cause farting is not socially acceptable. Meaning people don't want to hear or smell toots cause it's not good manners."

Pause - another thoughtful look but this time with a hint of a smile.
"How do we toot?"
"We toot when air comes out of our butts."
"But why does it make a sound?"
"It doesn't always, if it's just a little air it doesn't make a sound."
"But if it's A LOT it's loud!"
"Right."
"But why?"
Ok-I tried my best to gracefully explain the toot. And it didn't satisfy. So out came the hand gestures. This is where it gets good...hopefully you have stuck with me for this moment! It really highlighted my day.
"Ok Ben look," holding up my hand, fingers in a small circle. "This is how big the hole in your bottom is right?"
Head nod - alright he's with me.
"Well sometimes the air that's trapped is THIS big," holding up my hand in a giant circle.
Eyes wide - guess he's still with me!
"And when the air comes out it all comes out at once really fast." Now I am forcing the giant circle through the smaller circle. "and then you go BAAARRRROOOOMMMMMFFFFFFFF!"
As if the whole thing had been a big set up, Ben began laughing so hard the tears came! And we lost half of his body off the side of couch!
"Do that again mom! Show me again!"
And that is how I explained this most smelly bodily function to my son. Thank God he hasn't asked how his baby brother or sister is going to come out!
And if you enjoyed the "no farting" sign hop over to where I got it!