My first famous person dream!



I think everybody in the world has had famous people in their dreams besides me! Well I finally had mine and someone I never expected was there to greet me. Clint Eastwood? What in the world? How random. I think I figured it out. My DH had my cell phone set to wake him up at 5:00 this morning. It was loud - and it was playing The Good the Bad and the Ugly - a real western. I remember growling at him to turn it off. Then I made him give it to me and I turned off the snooze (whoops - hehe). So when I went back to sleep that's what was on my mind. In the dream I had my cell phone and it rang to the same great tune. And Clint Eastwood stopped to say what a cool ringer it was. I acted totally nonchalant (sooo not what I would be like in real life) and showed him my phone. I told him I got it because of him and all his westerns! He smiled at me and moved on. Weird and cool at the same time, but to be brutally honest I think I have only EVER seen one movie with Eastwood. Oh well, he's still hot in his cowboy hat!

TGIHNT (thank god it's HNT)


After two heavy days of posting I am thankful for a chance to relax and let my hair down. ENJOY and happy HNT everyone!

WHEN I STOPPED SEEING MOTHER WITH THE EYES OF A CHILD, I SAW THE WOMAN WHO HAD HELPED ME GIVE BIRTH TO MYSELF. -nancy friday-


Me and my mom - a world ago!
Mom - Together we form a chain, a chain of love, reaching from the past into the future. We will be together again - to hope is to live!

36 hours till my life falls apart...again




Tomorrow night at 10:47 will mark the exact time. It will be four years since our world crumbled and it just hasn't gotten any easier. Should it? We watched her diteriorate before our eyes. One year after finding out that she was sick at all, she left us to figure out this world on our own. We were all young - the oldest just 21 and the youngest 14. And me in the middle - newly wed and pregnant. My child was the reason I could pick myself up and live day by day. He became the very breath of my life. I could find no other joy and so clung to him in an almost unnatural way. Every day was like living someone else's life; like watching the worst part of a movie in slow motion over and over. When I spoke it was like hearing someone else's voice, and when I slept the dreams came. So I stopped sleeping. I let everything go. Everything that had mattered to me began to slip away; except my baby. I couldn't tell you where my father was. I couldn't tell you where my brothers were. I longed to be close to them, to cry together until the tears could not come anymore. And at the same time I resented the reminder they brought with them. And so I hid behind my son. It was like the tighter I held him, the safer I felt; the more sure I was that he wouldn't leave me. It wasn't until someone I loved found himself in a worse situation than me that I really looked away from myself and began to heal. In my grief I realized that he needed me more than anything and I felt strong again. I began to pick up the pieces of my life. And I began trying to help him find the pieces of his.
These 4 years after our loss have been the very beginnings of finding ourselves. Finding how to move on after hitting rock bottom. Figuring out who we want to be and how we become that without her love and support. Finding our place in a world without her. Looking for her life in every corner of ours. And finding it!
We miss you mom and we always will.

Pick Me a Winner Baby!




Me and my groupies took our new truck out this weekend! Yes, it is a looker isn't it?! After 5 years with only our Accord it was about time for an SUV! Got a pretty good deal on it although it seems to be inhabited by aliens! It makes chirping and bleeping sounds as you drive - hmmmmm weird.
I've been blog hopping today and finding a renter for my site (you can click on the pic of his blog in my sidebar to visit - he's got some pretty interesting photography) - ummmm what was I talking about (scroll up...reading...Oh Yea!) One of the topics of discussion was what and where kids stick things. Erasers in the ears, marbles down the pipes and pretzels up the nose! I thought I would share what Juli sticks where!



And any nuggets she finds get gawked at followed by an "ewwwww...here mommy!" Or "tissu pwease!" Yes, at least she knows where they belong! While on the flip side we had to paint "no nail biting" formula on my son's fingers to keep him from stashing the "gold" in his mouth! Yummy...

Weekend fun!


Ben and Juli's auntie came to see us this weekend - it's always fun times when she visits. Playing, drawing, chatting - Not to mention the ringside view when squabbles break out between DH and his sister! Do brothers EVER stop bugging their sisters? For anyone who was wondering the answer is NO! Here Juli is doing her gymnastic trick, skin-the cat, for the 7th time! Auntie got rubber arms!
Then we gave the 2 year old full rein of the camera just for kicks. Surprisingly enough she knows exactly how and what to do! Here is her first modern art photograph. "AYO" must mean something (besides the obvious close up shot to the Crayola box)!

After a day of family fun the hubby and I went to dinner at the Outback Bar so as not to stray far from the March Madness game. But there was no complaining on my part. When we pulled up it was already super busy at 5:30. I sent my man in to put down our name for some seats. Figuring we would be waiting awhile for dinner I sat in the car till he came back. Except he didn't. I filed my nails, checked my phone for a fun new ringtone, twiddled my thumbs and sent him a text message. "Where you at monkey?" He called a few seconds later. "I got us a table at the bar - come on in." I looked down at the car door - the locks were down. "I can't" I replied. "You locked me in my car!" He had to ask the waitress to save our spot, explaining that he had locked the doors upon exiting the car and if I tried to get out the alarm would sound! DuOh!

Setting Sail


We had a dinner engagement last night that actually ended up being more fun than I expected - which is always nice! Our host took us out for a quick trip on the river - the St. John's.

The water was quiet, the wind cold and the boat fast! Ben loved it! Juli was her normal self "my hair! it blow my hair! my eyes - it poke my eyes! Go back to mommy's house!" So, as you can see there are no pictures of the maiden in distress! After a 20 minute ride at about 40 mph, Ben looks up and says "can we go fast now?!" Our driver fell out of his chair laughing and offered instead for Ben to captain the boat!

Needless to say it was a fun trip followed by an awesome dinner of homemade lasagna, salad and charlotte rouse for dessert...yummm. I was very pleased with how things were going and my kids were on good behavior. But just as I dared to relax, their little dog began relentlessly attempting to get it on with my leg. I tried distracting him with toys and petting, but I think that only made his little puppy heart more excited! Maybe I smelled good...whatever the case I ended up with my feet on their couch with Juli on my lap like a little dog shield! And I took a shower as soon as I got home feeling grossly violated! I love my girl dog! Hey maybe that's why he liked me - damn it!

My first HNT - Half Nekkid Thursday!



Juli wanted in on this shot! And it was just too sweet to pass up! Happy Half Nekkid Thursday everyone! Keep those cameras clickin! And for those of who you don't know what HNT is check it out! And then put up your own shot!

Shuffle to the left...



shuffle to the right! This IPOD shuffle is what's on the way to my house as we speak! I am psyched! I'm doin the Ord shuffle dance about it. Yea...don't pretend you don't do it too every time it comes on Dragon Tails - all you moms out there! My DH has an MP3 player that I never get to use and my old CD player kinda disappeared...maybe I made it disappear! I really don't remember (it's been that long since I had any portable music). The first songs goin on it are all Johnny Cash songs! Get a Rhythm baby!
And the Winterfresh gum reminds me - seen their comercials lately? What a riot - "Be like a crow? No! crows are ugly! Blech! - ya be a big cock, put on feathers and strut your stuff!" and then "chew Winterfresh...oh lovey love love!" If you haven't seen it you must! Winterfresh
click on "cool breath power" and "attraction chronicles" and laugh your ass off!

This is for my blogger sister who has the flu!
Eat and be whole!
Visit Fidget - her blog is so much fun!

YEEEE HAAAWWWW!!



Anyone who is or wants to be cowgirl will understand what I am about to write...I freaking LOVE these boots. I wanna take 'em to a dark back alley and make sweet boot love to them! I get all hot and bothered every time I even look at them! And then I wake up! The lowest price I can find is $235.00!!!! How can anyone in their right mind pay that much money for something they are going to put on their feet and walk around in horsey poo in! I guess the key words there are "right mind." And as you can tell from what I just wrote a few sentences back...I am not in my right mind! I am saving all my pennies! And I will step over the poo piles!

Definition of the word "chill"



v., Chill
slang meaning to calm down or relax - to pass time idly; loiter
or in the infamous Hellein Dictionary (yes..the same one that's used for the game of Scrabble) the definition is simply "Juliana."
I would have joined her but someone had to take the picture! Ahh to be that fancy free!

MOUTH and FOOT dis-ease



Well, we've got it all! My mouth and Juli's leg.
I am now very much sympathetic to the poor teething baby seen here. I have caught myself numerous times jamming my fingers to the very back of my mouth to push on the swollen gums where my wisdom tooth is trying to come in. This would all be normal and bearable if it weren't for one problem...it is coming in to the side rather then straight down! Yes...owwww. Calling the dentist tomorrow. It will be my first sugery - and I hope they dope me up!



And this is what Juli's leg looks like. Ringworm I guess. For some reason I thought ring worm looked more like a ring...red around the edges and clean on the inside. But this is a pic I found online and it looks just like what she's got. Yuck...guess I'll be calling her doc tomorrow too. What do they do for ringworm? And where in the world did my little OCD girly girl get it?!

Don Quixote - or rather Donna Quixote



This is my Juli. She is two and getting into the dress up stage of girldom. Here she has donned her brother's knight in shining armor stuff. She paused for a picture but only briefly as she continued her charge down the hallway yelling "I've got my gun" (what she calls the sword) and holding the helmet on her head with her free hand!

We took a day trip to visit some friends at Disney's Fort Wilderness yesterday. It is a lot more fun than I remeber it being when I was a kid! Of course, my dad made us rough it in a tent while Ben and his buddies were mackin out in a fully loaded motorhome! We took the kids swimming for hours - too long I guess, for after a while I looked up from my most intriguing conversation to see Ben's swimsuit at the side of the pool. Now mind you, it is Spring Break here and the camp ground is swarming with kids and families. There had to be 100 people gathered around and in the pool that afternoon. I said "is that Ben's suit?" I froze. "I think it is..." I get up and walk over. The boys are out in the water laughing and carrying on and I pick up the wet suit. At first it wasn't registering in my tired mommy brain. "If this is here, what's he got on out there?" My eyes went wide! NOTHING! OMG! Turns out his little buddy told him it was ok to go naked in the pool and Ben thoght that was a grand idea! Needless to say I was a bit embarrassed as I marched my little naked child over to our table and wrapped him in a towel! "Hey" the guy next to us says, "who doesn't want to swim in the nude?"

Anyone need a good scrub?




My grandpa forwarded this e-mail to me. Ok usually my grandpa sends me cutesy stuff so when I saw this e-mail I figured I would get a giggle or two. You can imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw some tan and soapy man hineys! Where in the world is this car wash anyway? I'm feeling pretty dirty! :)~

Howdy all bloggers and wanna-bes! Yes, I know you're out there cause I used to be YOU! Well, I am no longer a blog hopper! Now you can read all about me and what it's like to be FAMOUS! Yes, that's right I have my own fan club...my own groupies. My hubby is a big fan (most nights anyway) and Ben is 4 and Juli is 2 (my dog and my ferret think I'm pretty great as well)! Hence my blog name...course maybe it should have been "my5groupies" but I don't want to give myself airs! :)

Check back with me often...my days are full of crazy stuff to share!

Howdy Ya'll

you can check me out on MySpace too!