It's time to move on...
It's time to get going...
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.
But under my feet baby, the grass is growing!
Yea, It's time to move, it's time get going!

Hey, broken skyline...
Which way to love land?
Which way to something better?
Which way to forgiveness?
Which way do I go?

Hey, it's time to move on...
It's time to get going...
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.
But under my feet baby, the grass is growing!
Yea, It's time to move, it's time get going!

- Tom Petty - It's time to get going -

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION...
Internet Explorer sucks! I think everyone BUT me has Foxfire and so therefore people CAN see my sidebar. Well now I just feel stupid...but it's not the first time and with another kid on the way it WON'T be my last! So...ignore my last post and CHECK OUT MY RENTER! She won't be here much longer and she is worth the click! Thanx for sticking with me Jade. It's always a WILD rave here at My2Groupies. What else can you really expect?! Just another day in the life of a famous mom!

LOST MY SIDEBAR!
Ok people of the blog world. I am calling on you for help today. Usually Friday is a heavy traffic day for me and I totally intended to PIMP my renter big time. I have been clicking on her everyday cause I am sure to get a few laughs and great pics! But when I posted on Tuesday I put up a lot of picturs and lost my sidebar. Now no one can see my renter and I feel horrible!
Here is my attempt to get my sidebar back.
















Please bear with me....














I am trying to take up the whole page....


















someone said they thought my pics were too big and so they crowded out my sidebar...














Hmmmmm....I want a cinamon bun....




















And I need to pack the kitchen and the back bedroom....





















I need to wash the dog...she smells like a pooch fart.










































We'll see if that works. Please leave me any ideas on how to save my sidebar! Thanks! And I will pretty much be MIA this weekend and maybe more since we have to move the computer and set it all up again at our new house.


Of all the craziest things I have ever seen! I just posted to try and save my sidebar and then I found it! Ok peeps! Scroll all the way down my blog page and give my renter a click. I owe it to her and you will enjoy yourself anyway!

I'M LATE!!!!!!!!!
There's a double meaning in that statement. Usually I am "up" for HNT first thing in the morning. Well this morning I was "up" with the doctor. I missed a period (ooops) and having severe pelvic pain. My OB said we needed to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. So at 9:00 this morning I was stripping for another man! And getting probed too! 3 separate times! Here's what he found...among other things...

He also discovered some blood/fluid floating around in my girl area. Probably a ruptured cyst which explains the pain! But baby is ok! My DH is so excited! And I'm getting there...I guess the next 8 months should procure some pretty interesting HNT photos!

I have been thinking of the panda lately. First of all let me explain my train of thought because I don't expect you to get there on your own! Yesterday, around lunchtime of course, we passed a Panda Express. It is one of the better Chinese Fast food restaurants in our area. But it was still under construction. It made me want some lo mein pretty bad! Anyway the panda on the sign made me remember how much I like panda bears, not something I think about very often. I remember a story from my childhood about the panda's mask and why it is black around their eyes. I shared the story with my DH and another friend. They had never heard the legend and of course I began to think I was crazy. Maybe it was a dream. But I found the story this morning and would like to share it. It is a sad but beautiful story. One that makes you want to believe it really happened.

The legend begins with the panda as a totally white bear.
A young panda cub lost in his impish curiosity wanders away from his mother. But without her he had no protection.
The glowing eyes of a leopard watched him from the bush.
As he tumbled along in the weeds a young shepherd girl happened upon him. She knew that seeing a panda meant good fortune and blessings on her for the rest of her life. So she stopped and called to him.
As she reached out to touch him the leopard came leaping from the bush angry that another had tried to take his meal. The shepherd girl used her bamboo staff to strike the leopard over and over. The leopard was not hurt and turned on the girl. She lost her life in the struggle. The panda cub made his escape, but he knew he had the shepherd girl to thank for his life.
All the pandas held a special funeral in honor of the young girl and wore black armbands as a sign of their mourning. Their tears dripped onto the bands and the black dye began to run. When they wiped their eyes, it left black rings. When they hugged each other in comfort, it left spots on their backs. When they covered their ears to block out the sound of sadness, it colored their ears black.
Today the Giant Panda is a symbol of peace in China. It is said that during wartime the pandas mourn and do not eat, and during times of peace they flourish.
See? Didn't I say you would like it?

We are moving!

Goodbye to the crappy little rental houses that surround our home.


Goodbye to the neighbors who drink and swear.


Goodbye to the dogs who wander around at night and pee on our bikes and cars.


Goodbye to the dirt road we live on and all the dust it causes!


Goodbye to the brand new park right down the road that was our only happiness until the neighborhood urchins scratched horrifying words into it's plastic goodness.


And finally a goodbye to the 6 and 8 year olds who play everything in the middle of the street and a goodbye to their families who need a good Nanny Jo lecture on being responsible parents!

ONE DORA POTTY BOOK with real flushing sounds! - $8.50

ONE PACK OF DORA PANTIES - $5.75

A 24 PACK OF BOUNTY for cleaning up the "ooopsies" - $11.99

MY 2 YEAR OLD GOING PEE-PEE on the POTTY TWICE THIS WEEK? - PRICELESS

The Catholic Funeral

My grandparents on both sides are as Catholic as the Pope himself. I honestly don't know much about it, but I do know that my grandpa loved the Lord with all his heart. And made fun of his own religion. He used to cross himself and say "All you people" (with the up and down hand motion) "get off the grass!" (with the side to side motion). That being said, I must now relate to you the ins and outs of the Catholic funeral.
There is always a viewing. I had to read a short essay once, back in my freshman year of college, about the specific preparations a body undergoes to be laid out for a viewing. The reality is that death is ugly. But no one wants to look at a lost loved one covered in "death." So out comes the makeup. Layer upon layer of foundation, rouge, and faint lip color. Hair gel, skin toner and on and on...And then the inevitable comment comes from one in the family seeking to comfort themselves in the knowledge that their loved one has gone to a better place; "He's smiling, you see? He has a look of peace." When I hear this I feel a rush of peace myself - and then the truth of what has happened to a body's face before a viewing hits me like a ton of bricks. If I hadn't been required to read that essay I would be better off today. In light of that last comment I leave you to learn about it yourself if curiosity overcomes you!
There is always a wake. The body is placed where everyone attending will be able to see. And the prayers begin. I never knew how important prayers beads really are. If the priests leading the wake would have lost count of all the Hail Marys he was leading us in, an awkward and disastrous silence would have overcome the room. There are four points of scripture to speaks on following a death and 10 Hail Marys after each point. Followed by an Our Father and a Benediction. Totaling 40 Hail Marys (enough to last a lifetime of sin) and numerous Our Fathers and other recited prayers. I did my best to join in, congratulating myself all the while on my ability to foresee the dangers of bringing my 2 and 4 year old to such an event.
And finally there is always a Mass. The body is shut in the casket and rolled along the floor of the church as the father shakes Holy Water over the box. There are songs, a short sermon on death and the one lost, and a communion. Everything is very solemn and every head bowed in reverence. The Father opened with a Benediction. And this is where I pause to ask how many of you have seen the Princess Bride? If so you will thoroughly appreciate what I am about to tell you. If you haven't seen it rent it TODAY and enjoy! The Father opened with "We awe gawered hewe today to wemember Pauw..." I stifled a snorting laugh and leaned over to my brother. "Mawaige!" He jabbed me in the ribs. I endured an hour and a half without so much as a giggle and felt as though I was meeting someone famous as I shook his hand. Later as my Uncle and Aunt and cousins all piled into our van someone said "I feel bad cause I didn't understand half of what that guy was saying!" I laughed out loud and boomed "MAWAIGE!" There was a thundering roar of laughter and the silence of sadness was broken. We will miss you grandpa. You were the one to teach us to find humor in all things and I bet you were rolling in your grave right along with us! May you "west" in peace!

I had a post all planned for today; then I got the call.
My favoritist Gramps has had his 3d heart attack! And the general consensus is that this one is gonna be the killer.
The weirdest part? My mom died 4 years ago on March 29th. But it was Good Friday. And here we are again. And this time it's her father. Not so "good" for our family. Hope you all have a better weekend than I am expecting. Take time to remember how precious life is. If you don't say/do "it" (whatever it is) NOW! you might never get the chance. And that would suck...just ask me.

And as I finish the spell check for this post I got the call. He's gone...
I HATE THIS FUCKING DEATH SHIT! And this awful feeling of being soooo alone.
God help me remeber that on Easter, You made death only a temporary seperation.

Have a silly and fun HNT!



Juli and mommy being crazy. This was actually her idea. "Take picture wike dis mommy," she said as she stuck out her tongue. She almost licked me! Which she would have gotten a big kick out of as I was washing off my face!
Today is a day of fun! We are headed for Disney World. Lots of pics tomorrow! (the stomach thing is still a mystery. I don't care as long as it's gone...and NO I am not pregnant! As I knock on wood - don't even think it!)

THE END OF MY PROVERBIAL ROPE!
What the hell is up with my stomach?! I just told my son "If you don't leave me alone right now...I will throw up on you!" That's how bad I feel!

Body art!



My little Jewels is a painter...actually a painter, a drawer, a colorer, a gluer, a playdoh eater...anything crafty and she is right in the middle of it! So I try to encourage this. It is not something I have, but both of my brothers are very gifted and so are both of DH's sisters. We paint almost every other day and these pictures she did were all done with her hands. The best one I couldn't post. It's stuck on my phone and I can't get it to e-mail to me. It is her little hand print 3 times over put in almost the same spot. It looks like a little baby hand with 8 fingers! But this one she did herself too! She has titled it her "appy bace!" or Happy face (for those of you who didn't test your "kid-lingo" - see my post 2 days ago)

Now, on the other hand, my little monster is a PYROMANIAC! This he got directly from both of parent's genetic makeup. He can't help it and my DH can't help but teach him what fun it is to burn things! So, the day he recieved his first magnifying glass they both got so excited. As a matter of face I think they started fighting over it!
"I wanna try!"
"But I have to show you how!"
"No! I know how!" (he's 4 and he knows everything!)
"No you don't! It's really cool-let me just have it!" (he's 38 and he knows everything too!!!)
Anyway, once they sorted themselves out (I leave them to learn on their own) they began burning the fallen leaves in the yard. More fun then raking them I suppose!

The most fun Fund Raiser!
For the second year in a row my father and I attended the Teal Magnolia Luncheon hosted by The Ovarian Cancer Alliance of Florida. They really do an awesome job and all the profits go to the Alliance to help find a cure for women with this terrible disease and to get the word out. Ovarian Cancer has been called the silent killer. The symptoms for it are so insignificant that before you know it your body could be ridden with cancer. This is what happened to my mother and within a year of finding out how sick she was, she died. So, this is one way for my dad and I to contribute and to find consolation with survivors and families who also have lost. The luncheon begins with an amazing silent auction. They have everything from jewelry to mini-vacations, handbags to amazing artwork. The bids start at reasonable prices, bargains actually, but by the end of the afternoon the auction alone had raised something like $14,000!!!! My contribution (thanks to my dad) won me a fabulous Fossil purse! That auction stuff can be addicting! The Lucheon provided us with some really great entertainment such as the very talented Jacqueline Jones. She can scat like nothing I've ever seen! Also the speakers included Miss Florida 2005, Mari Wilensky (who wore her little crown everywhere) and Jacqueline London from our local news station. Anyway, it was a fabulous time with fabulous people and I was glad to be a part of something that will make a difference for women everywhere. Please read and know the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer And if you feel it on your heart to make a donation, you have a personal "thank you" from me and from all the women and families out there struggling with or suffering from this terrible disease. We can't know what tomorrow will bring, but we can strive to make tomorrow possible for those who have no hope. One day at a time.

DO YOU KNOW KID-LINGO?
Juli has been melting my heart lately with her 2 year old banter! She has something to say about everything! And it always brings a smile to my face.
Take a minute and see how well versed you are in the art of kid-lingo.

Juli says:
I yunt duce!
a memmer mommy?
pawk-a-boo!
a puss a twing!
no! pusha back! paster!
Hee I am!
Pind me mommy!
1-2-3-4-5...7...errr not! Hee I tum

Translation - well lets see how many of you know!
Winner gets 10 credits! Have an awesome weekend. I now return to my regularly scheduled program...Sleeping!

The Princess and the Pea...errr...quarter

I haven't been sleeping well. As you can see form my previous posts I have until now blamed the time change. So, last night was the same as every other night. Stayed up till I felt tired...as a matter of fact I was exhausted. When my head hit the pillow my mind started turning. I don't have any idea what I was thinking about so intently but it kept my from sleeping. I used my body relaxation technique. Think about your feet - feet relax - now your legs - legs relax - and so on until you are relaxed. It actually helped and I fell asleep. The first time I woke was a nature call. No big deal but of course I couldn't fall back asleep. Flipped my pillow, turned over, found the covers, turned over again...you know the routine. The next time I woke was the sound of my son calling very urgently for daddy. Yelling for daddy actually. The sound of his voice was so full of fear it shot adrenaline through my veins. Once my heart stopped beating through my chest I fell asleep again. At some point I rolled onto a Binky and woke up as it dug into the soft space between my ribs! I think Ben woke me up one more time before my alarm did and by that time I swear I hadn't slept more than 4 hours. I rolled myself into the bathroom where I sat on the pot and took my pj's off. There, stuck to the side of my leg was a quarter. My foggy brain figured I had just sat on it a few minutes before. But as I pulled the coin from my flesh I realized it had been there a long time. It had made it's own little quarter sized whole in my leg with a clear impression of a president's head. Weird...but at least it explains why I haven't been able to sleep. No telling how long that money had been hidden beneath the covers! Needless to say I am changing the sheets on my bed today and I fully expect a good 9 hours of sleep tonight!

It's HNT and I don't have my camera!

So here is my darling girl being...well being a girl! Just doesn't get any cuter than this! That's it baby, show me your fat lip!

My DH is taking a fishing day today (yes, he works for himself so he can do that) and he took the camera. Last night as I was showing him some picture possibilities for today he muttered "I don't like that." At first I thought he meant the pics, so I asked him. Turns out I have a jealous husband; which I think I really like! He doesn't want everyone else seeing certain parts of me. What? You mean you don't want me to post pictures of my love handles, my butt rolls or my armpit boobs? OH FINE!
Have it your way! (giggle giggle)
And one more thing just because I wanna complain about it. Last night I was out on the road going somewhere to do something (don't blame me for my brain farts - blame the time change). I'm cruising along, singing my song and I looked in my rear view mirror. Some bee-atch was riding my ass trying to get to the RED light faster than me. I resisted the urge to stay in front of her and slow down to a crawl and moved into the other lane. She went zooming by in her little white Beamer and as she did I cast one of my meanest glares in her general direction. She had her seat way back (like bee-atchs do) and her big ole' bug-eye glasses (another bee-atch thing Hilton started) and she had her manicured, flip-flop clad foot hanging out the window. I think I actually snorted when I laughed! But then all I wanted to do was roll down my window and ask her if the color of car was white or grey (it was even grosser than my car and I live on dirt road). What stops me from being a bee-atch to someone who needs it?!

MY CSI ADDICTION PAYS OFF!


Ok, I know this is the most watched crime show in the world, and so what I am about to say is kinda a given, but I friggin love CSI. I'll watch any of them! Even NY and Miami but I really enjoy Las Vegas the best. As far as I'm concerned William Peterson MAKES that show! And for some strange reason my brain retains everything he says! I guess it helps that he's hot. It's got to be easier to pay attention to a sexy man than...well then the guy on CSI Miami! Anyway let me get to my point.
This afternoon we stopped by to see DH in the middle of the day. A rare and special occurrence. In the car I let Juli out of her seat to give him some love! So we got to talking (yes after 8 years together we still enjoy doing that!) and J kept herself busy while she waited for me. Busy cramming money into the tape deck of my Honda! By the time I noticed, she had almost finished putting a whole fist full of pennies in there!
*$%&**#@#%**$#*!!!!!
I snatched the money away and returned the thief to her seat. Now what to do? I am soooo not paying someone to take money out of my tape deck! My mind whirled. A picture of Gil Grissom fishing a bullet out of a rain drain grate thing flashed through my mind. GUM - I need gum. So I open the console of my car to fish a piece out and what do I find....

Yes ABC gum. I guess my 4 year decided to trade in his chewed gum for a new piece and had left the old gum in the console of my car...melting. Ok, so I had my sticky gum. I took a straw out of my drink from lunch (why did I give in to that McDonalds urge?!). I wrapped the melted gum around the end and fished out 5 pennies by sticking the gum to each coin and pulling it out! YES!(as I do a glory dance in my chair). I am good! Thank you Grissom.

DAMN TIME CHANGE


Ben was a half an hour late for school this morning! We slept and slept and when I woke up it was 9, but it felt like 8. I rushed, he rushed, Juli went with us in her diaper and bed head! The teacher had locked the door and was right in the middle of a project. Needless to say I was a bit embarrased as I knocked for Ben to be let in. POO! The time change has us all totally fog brained. Last night it took two hours to get the kids to settle down for bed. The first hour felt too early and the second hour they were over tired! Oh well...there is a first time for everything...yes I have never been more than 7 minutes late. Can't say that anymore.

The UNI-BOMBER in Pre-K


"Once upon a time there was a little bomb. It blew up the whole city. Then it blew up the entire universe! The end."
Yes, this is a real story written by one of the children in the VPK class at Ben's school. Very frightening isn't it? And to be even more absurd is the fact that they hung it on the wall next to all the other stories about going to Disney World or buying groceries with mommy! Terrifying. And check it out. This is the picture he drew to go with his story.

Yes, you are seeing it right. Blackness. A black crayon run over the paper so many times it was beginning to curl. If I were the teacher in this class I'd be having a parent/teacher conference right away! Ok - I understand freedom of the written word and even equality among students (meaning if they hung everyone else's stories they would have to hang this child's - ok fine we all know it's a boy!) - but don't you think when a 4 year old boy comes up with this kind of story there must be something, shall we say, not so healthy going on in his pea brain?! If I were his mother I would be shocked and distraught. But behind the bedroom doors, in the privacy of my own bathroom, I would laugh my ass off!!!!!!!!